Tag Archives: quebec

Apr25

Bienvenue.

Posted on by
Standard
Bienvenue.

The time has finally come for us to visit Quebec and meet Fernand, his daughter Mel, and just ultimately get to that culmination of all these years of work and piecing together the mystery of my dad’s biological family. This past fall, I pulled the trigger and booked the airline tickets for us to fly out east. I planned it differently, though-we would fly into Toronto, rent a car, drive to Quebec City and stay for a bit just the three of us (Dan, myself and Andy) and then go to meet Fernand and Mel. We’d then finish the trip in Toronto for a few nights.

To say I was anxious the weeks leading up to the trip would be the understatement of the year. I was wired. I was worked up. My blood pressure was honestly through the roof (and I know this for a fact because I stupidly had my blood pressure monitor testing done a week before the trip and I know the results are wild). I mean, lets summarize this all (especially if this is the first time you’ve happened upon my page)

My dad was born in 1952 in Quebec City and was given up at an orphanage, La Creche St Vincent De Paul. Two years later, he was adopted by an American couple. He was fortunate to have a life full of some pretty incredible opportunities and experiences. He met my mom, married, they had me. He never wanted to find out about his birth family (or so he always told us) and it became apparent later that into the 2000s it would have been tricky to do so anyway due to adoption laws in Quebec. My dad died unexpectantly in 2004, at age 51. I was 19. I kept always wondering about his story. Where he came from. What my background was from him. I dabbled in attempting online searching. I wasn’t able to get anything from the province of Quebec right away, since I wasn’t the adoptee. Husband and I went to Quebec in 2014 where I was able to see a museum with insight on my dad’s orphanage experience, along with the site of the orphanage. I did two different online DNA testing kits, and also had my mother do one so it could split the paternal/maternal matches. I matched eventually with a gentleman named Fernand, on 23 and Me. We started messaging during the pandemic-knowing we were related as “1st cousin 1x removed” and from my father’s side; but how? Could not pin point where my dad was connected. In 2024, Quebec changed the laws the allow other generations of the adopted individual to gain access to their birth mother and possibly, birth father’s, name. I sent in my application on the date they opened in June 2024. I was put in a queue. I was eventually contacted early Spring of 2025. I had a few Zoom call interviews with workers in Montreal and eventually was given the names of my dad’s birth parents-Clothilde Lemay and Maurice Cusson. Maurice would turn out to be Fernand’s uncle.

This whole thing is ultimately wild. I don’t know how much this post tonight will make sense, as I am having myself finish writing it on what is actually the 22nd anniversary of my dad’s premature passing. But I want to get this out there and preserved and to continue reflecting on it all.

So we flew to Toronto to begin our spring break adventure. Driving away from the craziness of Toronto (14 lanes of traffic across!) and making it to Gananoque, Ontario, for the night was step one. I chose Gananoque for a reason, actually, as our first stop. I had been there in 1994 with my parents and best friend, Ali, as we visited my Grandpa Lammers and his second wife, Jean. Jean had a cabin in the 1000 Islands area from when she was married to her first husband. Grandpa Lammers and Grandma Jean got together after both their spouses passed. Their story is a soap opera in itself, and not for this post…but I had been here before and wanted to have a short stop over again. Nostalgia.

The next day, we headed to Quebec City. Took a perfect roadside gas station picture as we crossed the border and just like that…. everything was in French. On the way, we found a Cabane a sucre for lunch. This was an amazing experience! Everything was doused in maple syrup, and we learned about the process of tapping the maple trees to get the maple water used for making authentic maple syrup.

We stayed at the Hilton right across from the legislature building for 2 nights. We spoiled ourselves while there by staying on the Executive Level, where we had lounge access and a great view of Quebec City. We strolled Old Quebec, found attractions for Andy to enjoy, took in the heated outdoor pool, and had a fabulous dinner at Le Hobbit. During the visit to Quebec City, we also found our way back to the site of my dad’s orphanage. This is now a collection of many medical offices and other commercial spaces. It was Good Friday on the day we went, so the public buildings were closed. But we walked around the grounds and found the memorial for the babies born at the hospital and the Sisters of Good Shepard who took care of them back when it was La Creche St Vincent de Paul.

On the day we headed to meet Fernand, I didn’t know what to expect. Dan drove. I sat. And just thought that “I can’t believe this is happening.” I was also thinking crazy things…worried we would drive up to his supposed address in St. Liboire, ring the doorbell, and no one would answer. Ghosted.

We approached the small town of St. Liboire. After stopping at a roadside cheese store first, naturally. This was it. We rang the doorbell. I held my breath. And then, Fernand and Mel (along with their doggos) opened the door and welcomed us with hugs. I teared up hugging Mel-these people are real people. They are my family. HOLY SHIT.

We stayed with Fernand and Mel for two nights. He and Mel were fantastic hosts. Fernand is in his mid 80s. Mel is close to our age and lives in Montreal. She sees her dad close to every other weekend (it’s about 1-1.5 hours away). And what amazing people they are. He was such an incredible host in his house for these two nights and made our family feel so welcomed. He prepared so much in terms of food and experience. He was our tour guide (as Mel was the chauffer!) to show us Cusson family history that surrounded him. We saw old houses, cemeteries, land. He told us stories. He showed up family trees. We shared pictures.

One extremely special thing we witnessed was when Fernand took Andy on a little hike through the forest that backs onto his house. I cannot explain how it felt to see this happen. How absolutely wild it all was.

I know maybe the readers of this post would expect me to talk more about the stay. But it is hard to put into words. What I Can say is this—Fernand & Mel are family. And I felt a connection to them immediately. Mel and I joked that not only was I worried they would ghost us, but she also stated she worried slightly that we maybe were scammers! Meeting everyone in person put those crazy uncertainties to rest. And I can say with certainty that this will not be the only time I see them.

I was born and raised in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin, area…yet I am 1/4 Quebecois. And I now have the family connection to that part of my life story. It does feel weird to now know all of this, without my dad ever knowing it. But I am beyond proud and happy with the result of all the hard work I have done to confirm these facts. There is still more to learn, and anything Fernand is willing to share with us I am beyond appreciative of. I now know my link to the Cusson family. It is just even more crazy to see myself here-a Canadian who finally confirmed all her roots and history deeply entrenched in Quebec.

Bienvenue…Bienvenue…Je me souviens…

In memory of Andrew Anthony Lammers/Joseph Luc Parent/ son of Maurice Cusson & Clothilde Lemay

June 7th, 1952-April 25th, 2004

Dec1

The Third Act

Posted on by
Standard

I am writing this post now close to 6 months after I found out the information. I last wrote about how I found information regarding my dad’s birth mother. And how I am a bit at a standstill finding out more regarding her, as she doesn’t appear to have had any more children other than my dad. And the information I can piece together about a marriage is very limited.

When I spoke with Fanny, who I mentioned was my original counsellor from Quebec, one of the first things she commented on my dad’s file was that it was not common to have both the birth mother and birth father’s names. Now, they couldn’t guarantee with 100% certainty that the birth father name was correct, as they were going on the word of Clothilde when she dropped my dad off at the orphanage. But the likelihood of her making up who the birth father was would be slim.

Let’s just cut to the chase. I have a name. My dad’s birth father is Maurice Cusson.

Want to know the crazy part? I immediately knew who would know who this was. And that person is Fernand.

I wrote about Fernand a bit, starting in 2020. The link to this post is here, and at that time I just assumed that my 23 and Me connection meant that we could somehow figure out the birth mother. He exchanged emails with me during the pandemic and we tried to pin down which aunt of his could possibly have had a child out of wedlock. We got to a point where we MAYBE thought we had who it was, but this person was already deceased and her surviving children did not want to talk to Fernand. Fernand was always very kind and really seemed invested in helping me out. Our conversations and emails lessened in the past 2 years or so, but I did every once and a while check in with him.

When I knew I was getting information directly from Quebec, I emailed him and let him know. I was honestly surprised to keep hearing from him—not sure if he would have gotten sick of me, maybe he was now older and not in the right health to talk…but he acknowledged he wanted to know what I find out.

So, when I got that name….Maurice Cusson….Cusson. That was the last name of Fernand’s grandfather. I knew this from our conversations and seeing things on Ancestry.com. So we were on the right track. So I had to immediately email Fernand and I sent him that name to find out the connection. His response:

Maurice Cusson was my uncle, my mother (Florence) brother! He was a « sailor »,  I believe I mentioned it, électricien, on a summer cruise ship, river cruise. He and his wife lived in Sorel, Que. Maurice was very nice person.  I will dig up pictures and some anecdotes. We are cousin!

So, that means….this man, who is still alive and well in Quebec….named Fernand….is my dad’s first cousin. A cousin of my dad’s is alive and well. HOLY SHIT.

Fernand has sent me numerous photos of Maurice that he has dug up. His older brother, Roger, has also helped with the genealogy quest and is involved with sending me anecdotes. For so many years, I knew so little. Now, my world has opened up.

The main thing worth noting is that Maurice & his wife never had children of their own. We have no idea if Maurice had any idea that he possibly fathered a child. The connection we have made with what Maurice did for a living (sailor) and what Clothilde did for a living (worked on a ship) makes it very clear this was either a one-night stand or affair of some kind. Maurice was born in 1913 and then passed away in 1987. Maurice had many brothers and sisters, along with nieces and nephews. But he didn’t appear to know about his son. When he fathered my dad, he would have been around 40 years old. And with his death being in the late 80s, there was no chance of us having access to the Quebec adoption records at that time. So really, even my dad had wanted to know, he probably could have never found out.

So now I know about Clothilde & Maurice. And I have a smattering of photos of Maurice. And the craziest part…I now have flights booked for myself, Dan and Andy to head to Quebec over Easter. We are meeting Fernand. I am meeting my dad’s cousin. Even typing that is wild and my eyes swell every time, no joke. I am meeting family that I have dreamt about for so long, not knowing if they would actually exist or that I could find them. Wow.

Sep18

Act II

Posted on by
Standard

This post will be about my second phone call with Fanny, where I found out the name of the birth mother (along with some other tidbits). When Fanny set up for us to have this call in mid May, it came to my surprise to hear that she would be leaving her job position.

My first thought: fuck. I won’t get everything I need.

Yes, that was selfish. But I have been waiting for so long to find out this information, I was a bit scared that my case would get shuffled back into a long queue, not paid attention to the same way she did. We had our first call together before I went to the London Marathon and she gave me some rich background information. She wanted to have this call occur before she was leaving her job, so she could give me the birth mother information that she had confirmed.

Clothilde Lemay.

That is my grandmother’s name. Clothilde. Lemay.

Just like in the first call, she couldn’t release exact birth dates or death dates, locations, etc. And now that this call happened back in May, I don’t remember exactly what we spoke about. One interesting thing was brought up, thought-she hinted that maybe I could find something regarding Clothilde’s father, as there was a documentary put out by NFB (National film board) that included him. He was a musician. She couldn’t directly share his name, but she must had found it in her search and made sure I looked it up to put it all together. So I did. It’s a bit odd and interesting all at once. I have watched it and have all sorts of thoughts. (Here is the link too: https://www.nfb.ca/series/le-son-des-francais-damerique-english-version/season1/les-gens-du-plaisir-en/ )

Clothilde was an only child. She never had any other children other than my dad. It appears she may have gotten married again, but never had another child with her husband. In my Ancestry.com searches, there is no more paths from her name. Cannot find a grave. Cannot find a burial. What I have is below:

Died young. Close to my dad’s age. What I can piece together on ancestry is below. And if we put this all into perspective, she died before I was even born. So in a way, it is comforting knowing that I didn’t ‘just miss out’ on finding her. I wasn’t even here. My dad hadn’t even met my mom yet. Finding her wasn’t on my dad’s radar.

I have found no pictures of Clothilde online. No obituary. No photos shared on ancestry. She is a mystery. I do, as you saw above, have video of my great-grandfather though. Which is absolutely insane. And what I did four weeks ago is more insane: I decided to google up one of the directors of that documentary. His name is Andre’ Gladu. And according to the internet, he is still alive.

I found him on Facebook and sent him a message. He has not replied yet, or read it. So a few days ago I sent him a friend request. I have no clue if he will read it or acknowledge it. If someone wants to help a girl out and see if he’ll read this, work your magic:

So. I learned my grandmother’s name. Clothilde Lemay. My dad’s biological mom. This was always what I wanted to find out. I was met with so many emotions over those first days of finding out. I cried. I felt sad for her and her story. To have a son, to have to give him up….to get married but never have a second chance at her own family…dying young….it’s crazy. I was always on the search for my dad’s birth mom and I was worried that now, with now knowing the name and even now months later not knowing much about her at all…that this was all for nothing.

But trust me. It only gets better from here.

And that will be part of Act III.

Dec30

2024 Recap &2025 Sneak Peak

Posted on by
Standard

Running, Disney & Dad….That’s what the title of this is, right? So I’m going to do a short recap of 2024 and a look ahead at 2025 for each of those things!

2024

Running

If you’d like to read my recaps on the races that occurred this year, that was one thing that I actually posted about! This year I had some minor goals for myself that I wrote on a high-quality post it note. Some achievable time and health goals, meant to help me get back on track. I did my own training and planning this year, and I really just wanted to build consistency and get back to where I once was.

Disneyland half marathon weekend, Moonlight Run as a family in the snow, numerous 5km runs with Andy…they were great! Red Deer Half in May holds a special place, as I achieved a time goal I set and somehow won the whole thing (despite having ran faster half marathons in the past). This was a great confidence boost.

Disneyland, Jan 2024
Park Run
It’s not always running…family biking is great cross training!
Age group award at a very Wisconsin 5km!
Great form Andy!
Red Deer Half finish, May 2024

In the last 1.5 years, I have lost over 20 pounds. I attribute this to diet and lifestyle changes. Cutting back on alcohol intake definitely made a huge impact. I also know that getting off an antidepressant had to have some effect on me too. I am also now off my blood pressure medication, so the only things I take daily are vitamins. I now just need to cut out tortilla chips and maybe then I’ll be in perfect health…wait….don’t be crazy Lammers….Being lighter has helped me start to push myself more again on the road and trails and it feels great.

Disney

I mentioned above I was in Disneyland for the half marathon at the start of the year. This was great because later in the year, my bff Ali actually moved from Southern California away from Disneyland. She is now in Florida and lives right outside Walt Disney World (so convenient!)

In August, Andy and I flew down to Disney World for a trip with Grandma. Since Ali now lives there, she spent time with us too! It was a hot and busy trip, but fun had by all!

France Pavillion…Remy ride and lunch was a hit!
EPCOT with the bestie
Tiana’s Bayou was fantastic!
Andy is becoming a little daredevil!

Dad

June 8th, 2024, was the date Quebec opened up submissions for family history research. Well, let me explain….they have been under lock and key for some time in various capacities about what those who were adopted can find out. But their Bill 2 was set in stone that day, and how that benefits me is that as the child of someone who was adopted….I can now request information regarding my dad’s birth parents. I filled out and submitted all the paperwork promptly that first day I was allowed. I have received confirmation of the receipt of the submission.

So now…I just wait.

It has been 6 months. And now news yet. I know they probably were swamped with submissions. And who knows how many people are tasked to finding the information for those requesting it. And how long each submission takes. I last emailed in the summer (probably unnecessary, but whatever) to make sure everything was still in process. Sure is…now I just need to wait.

2025

Running

I’m going to run in to the new year with the great base I built and I have even bigger plans! In April, I will be heading to Europe to run in the London Marathon! This will be my 5th Abbott World Major, and I am beyond excited. The way Easter falls this year makes it possible for me to participate, due to Easter Break. Dan will stay back with Andy, but I won’t be alone…Ali is going to come along with me and cheer me on! We will be celebrating our 40th birthdays together.

I am also registered for Lost Soul Ultra 50km in September. I am making it a goal to try to beat my 2019 time of 6 hours and 48 minutes. The race is slightly a different route now than it was in 2019, and back then it was closer to 54 km…now around 51km.

Other smaller races will occur during the year too….Going back to Red Deer for the half and other family 5km races. The main goal this year is to stay healthy and strong as I train for everything. I hired my friend Tracey to be my coach, and my training plan for London officially starts on New Years Day. Maybe I will write more about how the training is going…I will try to, that’s for sure!

Disney

No Disney trip planned with Grandma this year, however, I forgot to add above that while in Europe for London Marathon, Ali and I will first be flying in to Paris to go to….Disneyland Paris! I will definitely post photos from that trip and a recap of our two days there. We have hotel reservations at Disney Hotel Cheyenne and two dining options booked…Captain Jack’s and Walt’s an American Restaurant. Neither of us have been to a Disney park overseas, so this will be an exciting adventure!

Dad

…Now, I just wait. I hope, hope, hope I get some answers and closure on this long search for my dad’s birth family. I have myself prepared to not find out much. And that the information given doesn’t get me anywhere…people have passed away, people don’t want to talk, etc. But to get a confirmation on a name, even if only his mom….my grandma…would be amazing.

2025 has so much ahead…and I simply cannot wait!

Lethbridge Coulees, Fall 2024
Apr3

Running, Dad & Disney….Isn’t that what this is all about?

Posted on by
Standard

I can’t promise I will start regularly posting, but I know I am good for at least one yearly post.  So here it is.  In reverse order. 

Disney

Well, of course Disney is still a huge part in my day to day life.  Yes—day to day.  I feel like I am always thinking or daydreaming about it.  It really is my ‘happy place.’  Last August, Andy and I went on a mommy & son trip to Disney with my dear friend Maureen and her son.  It was such a great trip and we made so many memories.  The memory I want to forget is catching COVID for the first time while there and us having to truck through the trip with that going on.  WOW-that took a lot out on my body.  Andy had one night where he broke his fever and was a bit of a mess, but he trucked on.  My positive test when we came back confirmed how shitty I felt, and it honestly threw off my running for about a month then.  At least I didn’t have any big events planned!

Disney 100!
Cheese & Castles
Grandpa Andy’s favorite character

We are doing another mommy & son trip to Disney this August, with hopefully no COVID, and with Grandma.  I am really excited to see what rides Andy is most interested in doing and all the memories we can make.  Dan and I have been working with Andy a lot lately preparing him for swimming pools, because he is not keen on his swim lessons.  We have him in private swim lessons starting a few weeks from now, so hopefully that helps.  I made a fake ‘threat’ that Grandma wouldn’t book us at the nice hotel anymore if he didn’t start to want to learn to swim….hopefully that’s lit a fire!

Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party…in hot August

Dad

This month marks the 20th anniversary of when my dad passed away.  I turn 40 this year.  That’s a lot to take in.  I have worked really hard in the recent years to deal with the grief that still was lingering and I feel like I am in a pretty good place.  There hasn’t been anything new with the family history/DNA/ancestry area.  My one close contact hasn’t talked to me in about two years, and it was sort of left that there may be some family resentment/conflict due to the potential unknowns/family skeletons.  I decided to send one more message earlier this week to just touch base and say hi…you never know what things could have changed?

There is also a date I am awaiting, and that is June 8th.  This day is the day after what would have been my dad’s 72nd birthday, but it is also a day that Quebec puts forth Bill 2 into action.   I will put a snippet below from the Province of Quebec website regarding what Bill 2 entails:

This act amends the Civil Code in respect of filiation, the law of persons and civil status. In particular, it amends the rules concerning the knowledge of one’s origins in relation to adoption so as to broaden their scope. Thus, this act allows the adoptee greater access to information about the identity of the parent of origin by eliminating almost all possibilities that a refusal to disclose would hinder it. It also gives the adoptee the right to obtain, under certain conditions, a copy of their original birth certificate and the judgments relating to their adoption, as well as the names of their grandparents and brothers and sisters of origin, and, if they consent to it, the information allowing them to contact them.

It extends services to new categories of applicants, such as the original grandparents of an adopted person and the first-degree descendants of a deceased adopted person. The latter will be able to obtain the same information and documents as the adopted person.

Lastly, it enshrines a person’s right to know their origins in the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. These measures will come into force on June 8, 2024. Until then, the current provisions on knowledge of one’s origins continue to apply.

Honestly.  That statement in bold…that is me.  And this gives me so much hope.  I read this outloud to Dan just now as I typed it and he paused….and said “I am cautiously optimistic for you!”  Hopefully, 2024 can be the year we find the real answers.

Running

This is a year, other than the pandemic, that I have no real big races planned.  And I can say that I am at a place in my life that I am ok with that!  I started the year off with a quick trip to Los Angeles where I was able to take part in the Disneyland Half Marathon weekend with my bff.  It had been since 2017 that Disneyland had races (due to conflicts with the city of Anaheim and then the pandemic, etc) so it was great to be back there in that atmosphere!

Cheese & Castles (mom’s turn)

A few weeks ago, we did the Moonlight Run 6km as a family-this was Andy’s first 6km distance.  Even in the late-winter snow, he did fantastic.  We finished just under one hour, and that was even with him in snow boots.  My race focus this year should have been more explicitly stated-it is to run 5km races with Andy!  Up next….Coaldale Family Fun Run.  He’ll also have the Red Deer Kids race during marathon weekend, Little Souls, and I also plan to get him signed up for a kid’s race in Wisconsin.

Moonlight Run

Andy and I head to Wisconsin in July, and I will be doing the Dances with Dirt Half Marathon Trail Race in Devils Lake.  I am looking forward to my first trail race outside of Western Canada!  I am not looking forward to the humidity!  I will also sign up for one of the local beer garden 5km events that coincidentally have a kids event too. 

Dan and I are signed up for the return of Lone Wolf in September, and Coulee Cactus Crawl in Lethbridge will be our warmup trail race together.  Still trying to think of a good team name, otherwise our Lone Wolf original of “Lammers & the Dilf” will still hold on.

One big thing to mention that ties directly in with where I am at with my running is to talk about where I am with my health.  Without going into too much, I will say that I am in a much better place than I was one year ago.  I have lost close to 20 pounds.  My body is not hurting.  With the guidance of a doctor, I weaned off my antidepressants that I had been on for close to 12 years (but I think were doing more harm than good the last while).  I have now been off them for 7 months.  I took time off alcohol.  Between the being off the antidepressant and pausing on boozing, I weaned off my blood pressure medication.  I tracked my blood pressure off the pills for about 2 months in November and December (some time while drinking, some while not) and it has now been stable since January.   And I am not on that pill either.  I am actually now on no prescription medication—just a daily multivitamin and collagen because I’m old hahaha. And, I had my yearly echo and my heart function has improved since the last one.  And super minor, but I am not consuming even CLOSE to the amount of caffeine as I was previously….living on the half caf/decaf life.  The meaningful changes I started making a year ago really have made a difference-the tests don’t lie.  I am not going back to where I was before. 

Took this photo a few days ago. Now it’s pounding snow.

A week ago, this blog entered my mind during a workout.  And I reflected on how great I felt when I was actively posting about my running and training.  It was therapeutic.  I know it will take some extra effort to make posting happen, but with the upcoming Disney, Dad and Running events on the horizon, sharing the good news could do some good. They will be shorter than this, more often than not, and not very well proof-read. But I know this helps.

Until then….

Apr24

A reframe, per say.

Posted on by
Standard

Hello.

Yes. I still exist.

Life is funny. And busy. And not linear.

I have really dropped off with keeping this site updated over the years. Back to work after maternity leave, COVID and excuses all weigh in.

But, doing this site has really brought me JOY over the years. I would to start writing monthly again. But I am not sure what to focus on.

Yes, I am still running. I actually did the Disney Marathon weekend this January and did Goofy Challenge and had a blast. I’ll share a photo(S) below.

And prior to that , I did my first 100km trail race in September 2022. I never wrote a recap on that race. And I plan to do a second 100km this September.

And prior to that we went to Disney’s Aulani in Hawaii! I didn’t even do a recap of that! Well, we returned and moved into our new house so timing was a challenge.

I’ve gone to Disney world a few times since the Pandemic. We bought a new house. And the 19th anniversary of my dad’s passing is tomorrow.

19 years with him. Now, 19 years without.

I need suggestions on what I should post about below. Yes, the origin story of my dad is still in question and I have some new avenues I need to pursue. Yes, I am still running and doing Disney races and crazy races. Im going to Disney this summer with my good friend, her son and Andy. And we are making our own family memories.

What do you want me to write about if I start up monthly writing?

Sep17

So close, yet so far…

Posted on by
Standard

So that post I did a little bit ago, about all the information I was getting close to sharing? I’m kind of stuck.

See, this blog was originally started because I was going to talk about my running, my love for Disney world, and my dad. In 2013, I did a ton of races, raised money for American Heart Association & Heart and Stroke Foundation, and trained for RunDisney races like a boss. I did this all for the memory of my dad and it helped me focus on something positive surrounding the still tough-for-me grieving process.

I always hoped we could find information about my dad’s birth family, as he was adopted. For those who haven’t followed for a long time, my dad was adopted from an orphanage in Quebec City in 1954. He was born there in 1952.

I have done DNA tests with 23 and Me and Ancestry in hopes that someone close enough in relation would pop up. 4th, 5th, 6th cousins are galore. But that doesn’t really get you anywhere.

The first week in August, a woman with the closest connection yet to me on 23 and me from my father’s side showed up.On 23 and Me I know with certainty it’s from my dad’s side, as my mom has done the DNA testing and it can sort based on us connecting as mother/daughter on the page. I messaged this woman, and then shortly after her father had results on the page too. He was even a stronger match.

I have messaged him lots in the past month. He is around 80, lives near Montreal. The predicted relationship according to 23 and Me is that he is my 1st Cousins 1x Removed. The chart on 23 and Me shows that his grandparent would be my great grandparent. He and my dad have the same grandparents!

Not just relying on 23 and Me, this man’s brother does a lot of genealogy tracking for the family on his own. I gave my contact all the dates and information that would be helpful, and in talking with his brother, they narrowed down their ‘candidates’ of family members who may have been my dad’s birth mom.

They are pretty confident they know who is my dad’s mom. I have a first name. They have sent me a few photos of the woman. They have given me bits and pieces of her past which then make sense to the whole story….born in 1926, a ton of other siblings, she was still living at home in the late 40s/early 50s when all the others had moved away. They remember her saying in 1951 she was heading to the US for a nanny position….that’s when we assume she went to the orphanage as an out of wedlock woman to have my dad in secret.

She ended up getting married in 1955/56 and had a family of her own. But then she sort of removed herself from the rest of the family. My contact said her and her husband eventually separated, but her children are still alive….but he is not sure of what their relationship with their parents has been. She passed away at some point, though her death and reason for death isn’t really known.

I am so close. The potential mother of my dad, my grandma….her kids are still alive. My dad’s potential half siblings. My contact knows where her oldest son is right now, as he put it “alive and well” and in his 60s. But he hasn’t spoken to him in around 15-20 years. He is unsure about approaching him in regards to this situation. I have offered to pay for a 23 and Me test for this potential half brother of my dad. I need answers.

I have been trying to do some digging on Ancestry. I paid for a membership again. Canadian records don’t seem as readily available as US or world records. I am just searching on my own to try to close in on some things. I am not contacting anyone. I am hoping that my contact will decide a time to talk to the one son and we can connect that way.

I don’t want anything from the family other than to have a confirmed blood-line connection to someone who is related to my dad. The closest relationship possible. My dad lived a blessed life. IT was actually a pretty privilege childhood. He was very lucky to have been raised by my grandparents and have his brother Ed. And if this life hadn’t happened for him, he would have never met my mom, he would have never had me, I would have never met Dan, and we wouldn’t have Andy. Things obviously happen for a reason. But now, I want to unlock the past.

May4

Speed Workout—My First Attempt at “Yasso 800s”

Posted on by
Standard

I am now into the one month countdown to the Calgary Full Marathon. I knew for a while I wanted to do this race, but it wasn’t until after my marathon during the Dopey Challenge that I realized I could maybe have a legitimate shot at getting a Boston Qualifying time. That has now become my focus, and things have been going well…for the most part. The races I have done this spring have gone phenomenal-new half marathon PR (1:38:40) and placed 2nd overall for women in the 10 Mile Road Race (1:14:49). But I have been having some bothersome knee pain. Yes, I am taking care of it and trying to figure out the issue (other than the obvious overuse) but I also know I can’t stop running altogether in order for it to heal completely. I have Calgary. And I have a goal!

After taking six days off of running while in Quebec City during Spring Break, I knew I needed to start tackling some tough workouts. Not just distance, but speed. Oh, the dreaded speed workout. I think back to when I was in Track & Field in High School and how much I loathed speed workouts. I use to run the 800 meter and 1600 meter back then, which is a tiny fraction of what I run now! But see, in high school, I think I got in a rut because I was never “that great” and was always a middle of the pack varsity runner. I helped the team in small ways, but my 2:38-800 meter time was never good enough to place high or advance far in our tough Southeast Conference, and even tougher WIAA Division 1.

Back to track workouts…I avoid them. I make excuses. I don’t have access to our outdoor community track, as it is used for the university or high school sports. You can’t just go jump that fence and use the track as you please. High schools in the area don’t have their own asphalt tracks like they do back in Wisconsin, so there goes that. My only option in town is the red shale track next to the curling club in downtown Lethbridge.
20140504-132935.jpg

So that is where I went last Wednesday.

20140504-133029.jpg

I decided I needed to switch my interval workout a bit. Usually, when I have a “speed” day, I just mess around with doing Fartleks. That way, I can just be going through neighborhoods minding my own business and surge for short distances whenever I feel like it. Over the past few months, I have been reading about Yasso 800s. It is a speed workout designed by Bart Yasso of Runners World Magazine. You can read about it here in this article:
Yasso 800s

The general premise is that you take what your goal full marathon time is (I need to be under 3:35:00 to make the qualifying time for Boston) and translate that time from hours and minutes, into minutes and seconds. So if I want to aim for a 3:30:00 full marathon, I am going to be running 800 meter repeats in 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

For my first attempt at Yasso 800s, I decided to do an 800 meter warmup, 6×800 meter runs at a 3:30 pace, and then an 800 meter cool down. Wednesday was our first HOT day of the year, as my car thermometer read 79 degrees at 3:30 pm. I was a little nervous how this warm weather would affect me during this workout, but I came armed with a bottle of water and was ready to go.

The reason I wanted to do an 800 meter warmup was so I could figure out where I needed to place myself in order to have a true 800 meter distance around the track. There are not any lanes drawn in on this old school track, so I did my first two laps hugging the curve in my made up Lane 1. It was under the 800 meters (0.5 mile) so I adjusted myself from there on out to be positioned in the middle imaginary lane.

I was nervous for my first 800. I really didn’t know how the pace would feel. I finished my first one in 3:32; just a tad off. Instead of jogging in between each 800, (I had wanted my total distance that afternoon to total 4 miles) I took a 2:30-3:30 minute break where I jogged over to get some water, did some stretches, and got set for the next one. I ran my second 800 pretty much spot on in 3:29! A highlight at the end of my second 800 was witnessing a homeless man peeing by a shed next to the track; oh downtown Lethbridge, you never cease to amaze me.

The third and fourth 800s were 3:30 and 3:22, respectively. Damn, I was feeling good! I was worried when I clocked in that 3:22; had I pushed too hard with two more repeats to go? I was downing water like no bodies business and by this point I was sweating more than normal. This is what I needed though—something new to get my body going.

20140504-133114.jpg

The last two 800s were completed in 3:28 and 3:22. I was so happy with those last two times, and was wanting to almost pat my own back with that final lap! I had done my first Yasso 800 workout and it felt fantastic! After my 800 meter cool down, I got artsy in the shale (see below). Later that week, i revamped my training calendar a bit, and have set three more days of intervals. I will be doing the Yasso 800 workout during each, with my next one having 8x800s and the second having 10x800s. I’ll taper down to only 4x800s the week and a half before my big race. All in all, while I was nervously dreading speed workouts, I am now feeling really positive as I head towards the Calgary Full Marathon on June 1st!

20140504-133201.jpg

Apr30

Quest in Quebec City, Part II

Posted on by
Standard

The post below is a continuation from two days ago. It is my recap/reflection on the experiences I had while in Quebec City!

On Thursday, April 24th, we arrived at Musee Bon Pasteur. I was looking forward to this visit—the second floor was advertised to have an exhibit featuring the orphanage my dad was born at! When my husband and I walked through the doors, the receptionist did not know any English. Dan spoke with her to let her know I did not speak French; she then asked if we wanted an English-speaking guide. I am very appreciative that they had an English speaking guide in the facility, because visiting the museum would not have been the same without Sister Claudette’s guidance!

20140430-190834.jpg

Sister Claudette met us and gave us an overview of who the Sisters of Good Shepard are, and how they were formed. The story is quite incredible, and I encourage you to go to Musee Bon Pasteur and read about how this group of women found each other. She knew we were most interested in the items on the second floor, so after her 15 minute overview on the history on the first floor, we headed upstairs.

This is where everything came out. She first asked to see what information I had with me. After pulling out the envelope with the ominous “680 Chemin Ste Foy” address on it, she quickly told us why we were confused when we went their yesterday—-because it’s actually at 1210! The addresses had shifted over the years! She gave us a postcard with an old photo of La Crèche St Vincent de Paul so we could use it when we went back to find 1210 Chemin Ste Foy.

20140430-192613.jpg

We then looked at the handwritten letter together, and Sister Claudette then had a surprise for us. The sister who had signed the letter was a very prominent Sister at La Crèche, and there was a photo of her on that floor of the museum! Sister James Philip had signed that letter in 1954! Below is a picture of the letter next to her photo—these items are displayed on the original baptismal font that was used at the original St. Patricks! This font was used on my dad’s baptism on June 10th, 1952, three days after he was born (we know this because of the statement on his baptismal abstract which was produced in 1957; we can only assume, and Sister Claudette agreed, that this abstract was needed by my grandparents for when he went through his American Citizenship)

20140430-190747.jpg

Lots of other artifacts were on site for viewing in the museum. There are pictures, which reminded me of yearbook photos, of the doctors and sisters who were at La Crèche during certain time frames. There are also pictures of the children being looked after. Sister Claudette said these photos were taken in the 1950s

20140430-190911.jpg

20140430-190928.jpg

Sister Claudette then explained to us more about the timeline of my dad’s adoption. He was born on June 7, 1952, and we knew from original paperwork that he was adopted and brought across into the US on July 4, 1954…this approximate two-year window is important. She explained to us that when a woman gave birth at La Crèche, the choice was to sign the child over for adoption right away, or wait a maximum of two years. In those two years if she felt fit to take care of the child on her own, or in some cases if she had then wed the father and came back, the child would be reunited.

My grandparents worked with the help of Catholic Charities in Illinois to set up an adoption. The Catholic Charities sent a letter in May 1954 that a boy had been selected for them. They drove up to La Crèche to meet my dad. I would love to know if photos of this occasion had existed somewhere in my grandparents hands, but they moved so much all over the world they may have been lost. One thing I should have assumed but was never certain was my dad’s birth name. We knew it was Luke, as written on the old envelope. But that was the English spelling. Sister Claudette confirmed that the name on the “Alien Registration” form that was used when moving to the US was his given name—Luc Parent. This was not chosen by the birth mother, though. We learned that the doctors and Sisters had a list of generic first names and last names they went through and gave to the children. So my dad was given Luc Parent!

20140430-192534.jpg

It was an amazing visit. Absolutely memorable. I will never forget it! We learned so much in that short time at the museum. Plus, there is still a chance to learn more. Later that day, Dan phoned a number given to us by Sister Claudette. It was for Centre Jeunesse-Centre for Adopted Youth. There’s an outside chance they will let me provide my dad’s information for the archives, in case anyone from his birth family has tried looking for him. This is something traditionally the adopted child must do, but we may as well try. Problem was, we called twice, and the person on the other line had horrific English, and Dan’s French was just as bad. An English speaking worker was supposed to call us back by yesterday but hasn’t. I will tackle this feat over the next few weeks.

And 1210 Chemin Ste Foy? Well, we went the following day. On April 25, 2014, we walked the two miles to La Crèche St Vincent de Paul. My dad had passed away exactly 10 years before on April 25, 2004. How did I feel?—rejuvenated.

20140430-192419.jpg

Apr28

Quest in Quebec City, Part I

Posted on by
Standard

Oh wow. Where do I start? I am still trying to take everything in from our amazing trip out East to Quebec. I am going to share the family history highlights we uncovered on this trip, but also try to keep this post short. The post will be broken up into two parts, and I hope the pictures will speak for themselves.

If you have read my blog before, you now know my dad was an orphan from Quebec City. He was born on June 7, 1952, at the La Crèche St Vincent de Paul, a home for children born to unwed mothers. I have always wanted to go to Quebec City so I could be immersed in the surroundings, and hopefully get some answers in the process.
20140428-204801.jpg

The first we did upon arriving in Quebec City was trek from the Via Rail station to our hotel. During the trek we passed St. Patricks Church—I knew this name from all my years of looking at the papers we had of my dad’s…this was where my dad’s baptismal abstract was from! We went in and spoke with an incredibly friendly receptionist. She informed us that the original church burned down and all that remained was the front. An active St. Patricks church in Quebec City does exist, but it is not the one from the 1950s. The old building inside was rebuilt and now houses a cancer research centre. She was trying her best to help us with finding any thoughtful information. She told us to come back tomorrow, as she wanted to get us a name of a fellow who knew a lot of history of the church.

20140428-204452.jpg

20140428-204513.jpg

The next day we stopped back at the former church, where the receptionist had a piece of paper for us with contact information for C. Robert McGoldrick. We thanked her greatly, and on we went to 680 Chemin Ste Foy, the address I had stared at so long on an old 1950s envelope. This address was that of the orphanage!

20140428-204236.jpg

The walk to the “site” of the orphanage was about 2 miles. When we got closer to where 680 was, I started getting excited. But then, there was nothing. No 680. Just a green space between a giant apartment building and some townhouses. This was not big enough to house a whole orphanage…I was so confused. Had it gotten torn down and part of the land was built on? Nonetheless, we took a picture and moved on to phone Robert McGoldrick.

Robert answered and Dan spoke with him briefly. He told us to look up Saint Sacrament Parish, on the corner of Holland and Saint Croix. Even though the original St. Patrick’s burned down, he said any documents that may have been saved would be here. This was a lot to take in! What could they have there?

20140428-204404.jpg

We now headed back 2 miles to Old Quebec where something very exciting was waiting—a museum with an exhibit featuring La Crèche St. Vincent de Paul. This is Musee Bon Pasteur (Good Shepard Museum). I had found this museum while searching things online some years ago. This was where I had to go. This was where I would find answers!….

Part II to be posted tomorrow….

20140428-204647.jpg