Hey everyone. I feel like I’ve been MIA. Well, my last post was written the day before I went back to work. And since going back to work, I feel like I’ve barely had a second to breathe. I know everyone’s experiences are different, but right now as I sit passenger in the car driving home from a family weekend in Red Deer, I realize how easy the year of maternity leave was and how much work it is being back at work and being a parent.
I obviously use the term “easy” not in a way that means I was a cake walk. But looking back, maternity leave was a breeze. Sure, Andy would get up a few times in the night, but he napped tons during the day. I could clean. I could cook. I could nap too! If I wanted to go workout, I packed Andy up and we went to boot camp at Kinetic. We also did stroller boot camp at U of L. I could run with him mid day in the stroller.
Want to go out to dinner? Sure! Andy was a great baby and we could bring him in his bucket seat into places like Telegraph Taphouse and he’d sleep for two hours while we enjoyed beer and dinner.
Want to take a shower mid day? That could happen. Throw Andy in the swing or the jolly jumper in the bathroom and a shower could happen.
Now, fast forward to this weekend. Friday night we get to my in laws. My eyes hurt from exhaustion. Andy slept the whole three hour drive, but Dan and I are running on empty. I take the opportunity to take a long shower and as I get in the shower I feel my hair. It was at that point I could not remember when I had last washed it. I guessed it was last Saturday. I proceeded to take a shower, wash my hair twice, and then I laid in the tub as the shower beat down on my body. Then I flipped to my stomach and let it beat down on my back. No fucking shame in doing this. I was probably in the shower for over ten minutes.
You hear about all the new moms who don’t take showers for days or don’t get out of the house for a nice meal. This officially didn’t hit me until going back to work. Balancing working a full time job that takes a whole shitload of energy to do and then coming home to keep your 13 month old alive and well is a whole new deal.
Do we go to Telegraph any more? Not with Andy, that’s for sure. Our dinners out with him are now relegated to stupid Boston Pizza. You take him in and it’s a ticking time bomb. We order his meal of over cooked pasta and our jug of beer. You entertain him with said pasta while you chug your beer, then eat your meal fast and pay up before even finishing all your food.
My running has gone to the back burner. I’m still getting in four runs a week. But the quality and distance suck. No more boot camps.
I may sound like a complainer. Really all I’m getting at is that I was naive to think that returning back to work would be easy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in a long ass time. The preparation of having a new baby and being a new parent was one thing. But being a parent with a full time job is not a joke.
I know over time I will be better accustomed to managing my work and home life. Some things are going to have to give. There are undoubtedly going to be very tough days, very tough weeks. (Like the one we just had where Andy was the final kid at daycare to contract pinkeye…we had a walk in clinic visit followed by a trip to emergency two days later).
Dan and I will make mistakes. We will be frustrated. We will be stressed. But we will figure it out. We are going to give Andy the best damn life possible and are going to enjoy every moment.