Tag Archives: family

Apr25

Bienvenue.

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Bienvenue.

The time has finally come for us to visit Quebec and meet Fernand, his daughter Mel, and just ultimately get to that culmination of all these years of work and piecing together the mystery of my dad’s biological family. This past fall, I pulled the trigger and booked the airline tickets for us to fly out east. I planned it differently, though-we would fly into Toronto, rent a car, drive to Quebec City and stay for a bit just the three of us (Dan, myself and Andy) and then go to meet Fernand and Mel. We’d then finish the trip in Toronto for a few nights.

To say I was anxious the weeks leading up to the trip would be the understatement of the year. I was wired. I was worked up. My blood pressure was honestly through the roof (and I know this for a fact because I stupidly had my blood pressure monitor testing done a week before the trip and I know the results are wild). I mean, lets summarize this all (especially if this is the first time you’ve happened upon my page)

My dad was born in 1952 in Quebec City and was given up at an orphanage, La Creche St Vincent De Paul. Two years later, he was adopted by an American couple. He was fortunate to have a life full of some pretty incredible opportunities and experiences. He met my mom, married, they had me. He never wanted to find out about his birth family (or so he always told us) and it became apparent later that into the 2000s it would have been tricky to do so anyway due to adoption laws in Quebec. My dad died unexpectantly in 2004, at age 51. I was 19. I kept always wondering about his story. Where he came from. What my background was from him. I dabbled in attempting online searching. I wasn’t able to get anything from the province of Quebec right away, since I wasn’t the adoptee. Husband and I went to Quebec in 2014 where I was able to see a museum with insight on my dad’s orphanage experience, along with the site of the orphanage. I did two different online DNA testing kits, and also had my mother do one so it could split the paternal/maternal matches. I matched eventually with a gentleman named Fernand, on 23 and Me. We started messaging during the pandemic-knowing we were related as “1st cousin 1x removed” and from my father’s side; but how? Could not pin point where my dad was connected. In 2024, Quebec changed the laws the allow other generations of the adopted individual to gain access to their birth mother and possibly, birth father’s, name. I sent in my application on the date they opened in June 2024. I was put in a queue. I was eventually contacted early Spring of 2025. I had a few Zoom call interviews with workers in Montreal and eventually was given the names of my dad’s birth parents-Clothilde Lemay and Maurice Cusson. Maurice would turn out to be Fernand’s uncle.

This whole thing is ultimately wild. I don’t know how much this post tonight will make sense, as I am having myself finish writing it on what is actually the 22nd anniversary of my dad’s premature passing. But I want to get this out there and preserved and to continue reflecting on it all.

So we flew to Toronto to begin our spring break adventure. Driving away from the craziness of Toronto (14 lanes of traffic across!) and making it to Gananoque, Ontario, for the night was step one. I chose Gananoque for a reason, actually, as our first stop. I had been there in 1994 with my parents and best friend, Ali, as we visited my Grandpa Lammers and his second wife, Jean. Jean had a cabin in the 1000 Islands area from when she was married to her first husband. Grandpa Lammers and Grandma Jean got together after both their spouses passed. Their story is a soap opera in itself, and not for this post…but I had been here before and wanted to have a short stop over again. Nostalgia.

The next day, we headed to Quebec City. Took a perfect roadside gas station picture as we crossed the border and just like that…. everything was in French. On the way, we found a Cabane a sucre for lunch. This was an amazing experience! Everything was doused in maple syrup, and we learned about the process of tapping the maple trees to get the maple water used for making authentic maple syrup.

We stayed at the Hilton right across from the legislature building for 2 nights. We spoiled ourselves while there by staying on the Executive Level, where we had lounge access and a great view of Quebec City. We strolled Old Quebec, found attractions for Andy to enjoy, took in the heated outdoor pool, and had a fabulous dinner at Le Hobbit. During the visit to Quebec City, we also found our way back to the site of my dad’s orphanage. This is now a collection of many medical offices and other commercial spaces. It was Good Friday on the day we went, so the public buildings were closed. But we walked around the grounds and found the memorial for the babies born at the hospital and the Sisters of Good Shepard who took care of them back when it was La Creche St Vincent de Paul.

On the day we headed to meet Fernand, I didn’t know what to expect. Dan drove. I sat. And just thought that “I can’t believe this is happening.” I was also thinking crazy things…worried we would drive up to his supposed address in St. Liboire, ring the doorbell, and no one would answer. Ghosted.

We approached the small town of St. Liboire. After stopping at a roadside cheese store first, naturally. This was it. We rang the doorbell. I held my breath. And then, Fernand and Mel (along with their doggos) opened the door and welcomed us with hugs. I teared up hugging Mel-these people are real people. They are my family. HOLY SHIT.

We stayed with Fernand and Mel for two nights. He and Mel were fantastic hosts. Fernand is in his mid 80s. Mel is close to our age and lives in Montreal. She sees her dad close to every other weekend (it’s about 1-1.5 hours away). And what amazing people they are. He was such an incredible host in his house for these two nights and made our family feel so welcomed. He prepared so much in terms of food and experience. He was our tour guide (as Mel was the chauffer!) to show us Cusson family history that surrounded him. We saw old houses, cemeteries, land. He told us stories. He showed up family trees. We shared pictures.

One extremely special thing we witnessed was when Fernand took Andy on a little hike through the forest that backs onto his house. I cannot explain how it felt to see this happen. How absolutely wild it all was.

I know maybe the readers of this post would expect me to talk more about the stay. But it is hard to put into words. What I Can say is this—Fernand & Mel are family. And I felt a connection to them immediately. Mel and I joked that not only was I worried they would ghost us, but she also stated she worried slightly that we maybe were scammers! Meeting everyone in person put those crazy uncertainties to rest. And I can say with certainty that this will not be the only time I see them.

I was born and raised in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin, area…yet I am 1/4 Quebecois. And I now have the family connection to that part of my life story. It does feel weird to now know all of this, without my dad ever knowing it. But I am beyond proud and happy with the result of all the hard work I have done to confirm these facts. There is still more to learn, and anything Fernand is willing to share with us I am beyond appreciative of. I now know my link to the Cusson family. It is just even more crazy to see myself here-a Canadian who finally confirmed all her roots and history deeply entrenched in Quebec.

Bienvenue…Bienvenue…Je me souviens…

In memory of Andrew Anthony Lammers/Joseph Luc Parent/ son of Maurice Cusson & Clothilde Lemay

June 7th, 1952-April 25th, 2004

Dec1

The Third Act

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I am writing this post now close to 6 months after I found out the information. I last wrote about how I found information regarding my dad’s birth mother. And how I am a bit at a standstill finding out more regarding her, as she doesn’t appear to have had any more children other than my dad. And the information I can piece together about a marriage is very limited.

When I spoke with Fanny, who I mentioned was my original counsellor from Quebec, one of the first things she commented on my dad’s file was that it was not common to have both the birth mother and birth father’s names. Now, they couldn’t guarantee with 100% certainty that the birth father name was correct, as they were going on the word of Clothilde when she dropped my dad off at the orphanage. But the likelihood of her making up who the birth father was would be slim.

Let’s just cut to the chase. I have a name. My dad’s birth father is Maurice Cusson.

Want to know the crazy part? I immediately knew who would know who this was. And that person is Fernand.

I wrote about Fernand a bit, starting in 2020. The link to this post is here, and at that time I just assumed that my 23 and Me connection meant that we could somehow figure out the birth mother. He exchanged emails with me during the pandemic and we tried to pin down which aunt of his could possibly have had a child out of wedlock. We got to a point where we MAYBE thought we had who it was, but this person was already deceased and her surviving children did not want to talk to Fernand. Fernand was always very kind and really seemed invested in helping me out. Our conversations and emails lessened in the past 2 years or so, but I did every once and a while check in with him.

When I knew I was getting information directly from Quebec, I emailed him and let him know. I was honestly surprised to keep hearing from him—not sure if he would have gotten sick of me, maybe he was now older and not in the right health to talk…but he acknowledged he wanted to know what I find out.

So, when I got that name….Maurice Cusson….Cusson. That was the last name of Fernand’s grandfather. I knew this from our conversations and seeing things on Ancestry.com. So we were on the right track. So I had to immediately email Fernand and I sent him that name to find out the connection. His response:

Maurice Cusson was my uncle, my mother (Florence) brother! He was a « sailor »,  I believe I mentioned it, électricien, on a summer cruise ship, river cruise. He and his wife lived in Sorel, Que. Maurice was very nice person.  I will dig up pictures and some anecdotes. We are cousin!

So, that means….this man, who is still alive and well in Quebec….named Fernand….is my dad’s first cousin. A cousin of my dad’s is alive and well. HOLY SHIT.

Fernand has sent me numerous photos of Maurice that he has dug up. His older brother, Roger, has also helped with the genealogy quest and is involved with sending me anecdotes. For so many years, I knew so little. Now, my world has opened up.

The main thing worth noting is that Maurice & his wife never had children of their own. We have no idea if Maurice had any idea that he possibly fathered a child. The connection we have made with what Maurice did for a living (sailor) and what Clothilde did for a living (worked on a ship) makes it very clear this was either a one-night stand or affair of some kind. Maurice was born in 1913 and then passed away in 1987. Maurice had many brothers and sisters, along with nieces and nephews. But he didn’t appear to know about his son. When he fathered my dad, he would have been around 40 years old. And with his death being in the late 80s, there was no chance of us having access to the Quebec adoption records at that time. So really, even my dad had wanted to know, he probably could have never found out.

So now I know about Clothilde & Maurice. And I have a smattering of photos of Maurice. And the craziest part…I now have flights booked for myself, Dan and Andy to head to Quebec over Easter. We are meeting Fernand. I am meeting my dad’s cousin. Even typing that is wild and my eyes swell every time, no joke. I am meeting family that I have dreamt about for so long, not knowing if they would actually exist or that I could find them. Wow.

Sep18

Act II

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This post will be about my second phone call with Fanny, where I found out the name of the birth mother (along with some other tidbits). When Fanny set up for us to have this call in mid May, it came to my surprise to hear that she would be leaving her job position.

My first thought: fuck. I won’t get everything I need.

Yes, that was selfish. But I have been waiting for so long to find out this information, I was a bit scared that my case would get shuffled back into a long queue, not paid attention to the same way she did. We had our first call together before I went to the London Marathon and she gave me some rich background information. She wanted to have this call occur before she was leaving her job, so she could give me the birth mother information that she had confirmed.

Clothilde Lemay.

That is my grandmother’s name. Clothilde. Lemay.

Just like in the first call, she couldn’t release exact birth dates or death dates, locations, etc. And now that this call happened back in May, I don’t remember exactly what we spoke about. One interesting thing was brought up, thought-she hinted that maybe I could find something regarding Clothilde’s father, as there was a documentary put out by NFB (National film board) that included him. He was a musician. She couldn’t directly share his name, but she must had found it in her search and made sure I looked it up to put it all together. So I did. It’s a bit odd and interesting all at once. I have watched it and have all sorts of thoughts. (Here is the link too: https://www.nfb.ca/series/le-son-des-francais-damerique-english-version/season1/les-gens-du-plaisir-en/ )

Clothilde was an only child. She never had any other children other than my dad. It appears she may have gotten married again, but never had another child with her husband. In my Ancestry.com searches, there is no more paths from her name. Cannot find a grave. Cannot find a burial. What I have is below:

Died young. Close to my dad’s age. What I can piece together on ancestry is below. And if we put this all into perspective, she died before I was even born. So in a way, it is comforting knowing that I didn’t ‘just miss out’ on finding her. I wasn’t even here. My dad hadn’t even met my mom yet. Finding her wasn’t on my dad’s radar.

I have found no pictures of Clothilde online. No obituary. No photos shared on ancestry. She is a mystery. I do, as you saw above, have video of my great-grandfather though. Which is absolutely insane. And what I did four weeks ago is more insane: I decided to google up one of the directors of that documentary. His name is Andre’ Gladu. And according to the internet, he is still alive.

I found him on Facebook and sent him a message. He has not replied yet, or read it. So a few days ago I sent him a friend request. I have no clue if he will read it or acknowledge it. If someone wants to help a girl out and see if he’ll read this, work your magic:

So. I learned my grandmother’s name. Clothilde Lemay. My dad’s biological mom. This was always what I wanted to find out. I was met with so many emotions over those first days of finding out. I cried. I felt sad for her and her story. To have a son, to have to give him up….to get married but never have a second chance at her own family…dying young….it’s crazy. I was always on the search for my dad’s birth mom and I was worried that now, with now knowing the name and even now months later not knowing much about her at all…that this was all for nothing.

But trust me. It only gets better from here.

And that will be part of Act III.

Jul17

And just like that…

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This blog was started to honour my dad. And I have mentioned at times his history and background. In 2014, my husband and I travelled to Quebec City to be immersed in his origin story (find that here and here). And by doing my own DNA submissions through Ancestry and the now questionable 23andMe I have found many distant relative matches. Notably is the match I have with an 80-something fellow from Montreal area (wrote about that briefly here). He and his brother had a hunch on cracking the code of my dad’s birth parents, but we ran in to some dead ends and some family who had either passed or didn’t want to talk.

Then, came this: New Quebec Bill provisions The update, which came into place on June 8th, 2024, would now allow me as a first-degree descendent of an adoptee to submit a request for biological family information. I submitted my application with supporting documents the moment I was able to.

Then, I waited.

I emailed once or twice to confirm that YES I was in a queue and YES I would be contacted soon.

Then, on Monday, March 17th 2025, I received an email from a woman named Fanny, who had this in her email signature:

Conseillère en recherche des origines internationales et intergouvernementales

Direction de la recherche des origines et des retrouvailles

Secrétariat aux services internationaux à l’enfant

Ministère de la Santé et des Services Sociaux

201, boulevard Crémazie Est, bureau 1.01

Montréal (Québec)

Fanny would be working with me and assured me she would contact me as soon as she is able to begin work on my request. IT WAS HAPPENING.

Now that you’ve made it this far, I am going to make sure I say that I have a few posts planned regarding all of this I have been learning. And really, I am just beginning. But this first post is so that others who have submitted information, like myself, in regards to Bill 2 can see what they may expect to receive. Looking back now with what I have received, I know I am very lucky. But it also came with a lot of emotions. And if anyone reads this, finds this post, and wants to more in detail because they are in the same process/predicament….don’t hesitate to reach out.

Once Fanny was able to start working on my case, we set up a phone appointment to go over everything. Speaking to someone with a very strong French accent, with English not their first language, is definitely a challenge on the phone! We did later calls on Zoom, which was helpful to see her expressions. Fanny was lovely. We chatted for an hour and she explained the process-to summarize, as she works through my dad’s files, once she has accumulated enough base information (starting with birth mother) I would receive another email to set up another phone call/zoom call. She would then release the information to me on that call, and also email the information securely. After each step, we then discuss if we’d like her to find more (if the person is still alive, descendants potentially, birth father etc) until we finish. She won’t be able to give me every detail about the names she releases, but I may receive general birth years and background stuff (region where they lived, etc).

Fanny worked FAST. She knew I was going to Europe for Easter, so she was hopeful to get the first bit of information to me before hand. On April 16th, 2025, we spoke on Zoom. She was able to provide me with a summary of sociobiological antecedents. This “summary” was actually 8+ pages and pretty detailed. She spoke with my for close to an hour about all these details and I wrote down tons, but the summary pretty much had everything listed there in plain sight. My father’s birth name…Joseph Luc Parent. We always just thought it was Luc! The funny thing we always knew was the birthday discrepancy. The English version says June 7th and the French version at the orphanage and all the letters from the birth mom say June 8th. Full term, 7 pounds 8 ounces and born at St-Joseph Hospital, 750, rue Saint-Vallier Ouest, Québec city…which Fanny said is interesting because it is not the hospital that was attached to the orphanage. The mother’s name? Not given yet in this meeting. But, I found out she was 28 years old when she gave birth. Light brown hair “, brown” eyes, 5’5 1/2″ and 120 pounds. It also states her region of residence to be Chaudiere-Appalaches region and that she was single.

There is a section regarding the “physical, psychological and social development of the child.” There is quite a bit—stating about vaccinations received at orphanage in 1953, along with a physical exam in late April 1954 which noted “…lively, intelligent, in good health and a very attractive child” Then, later in May, another exam was done with a psychiatrist. I assume this was done in preparation for adoption, as he was placed with his adoptive parents on July 2nd, 1954. There are also snippets of case worker reports from when they visited my dad at his new home in 1955. The first “being a little overweight, your doctor prescribed you a protein diet….get along well with your brother although your mutual adjustment was slow at first.” And the last statement on November 11th, 1955, has the case worker “conclude that you have adjusted so well that you will lead a very secure and happy life.”

The flipside to all these lovely notes leading to adoption and checkups in his first year at his new home is that there was a section preclusive to this labelled “Placement History.” Fanny noted to me that all the detail in here was quite unique, as there is not always this much information in a file. There are dated entries regarding contact with my dad’s birth mom and presumably, the orphanage. Below is a screenshot (everything is referenced as if they are speaking to my dad).

When Fanny told me all this information, I just took it all in and it didn’t effect me one way or the other. I was just amazed I was hearing it all. But a few days later, emotions took over. I cried. A lot. I felt for this woman, my grandmother, and what she had to have been going through. And how difficult it must have been. What did her life turn out to be like? Did she end up having a family and kids and a husband?

The other piece of information I found out was that the birth mother did in fact name a birth father. This was apparently very uncommon, so I am very fortunate this was included. Fanny made sure to state that of course this information could be false, as the birth mother could be saying anything. But this was what was included for me to see at this first call:

Fanny described the man was listed as a sailor, and it then also appeared that the birth mother was a kitchen maid on the ship. It was presumed then that this man was married and had his own life off the ship. It was also noted in the file that the birth mother only told her own father about the pregnancy. Other thing about the birth mother… she was in fact, an only child. Just like me.

By the end of the call and then receiving the file, I knew more about my dad’s birth story than I could have possibly dreamed. But we weren’t finished yet. Fanny would next be looking into information regarding the birth mother (she already had the name, but needed to see about possible living family) and then eventually, the birth father. The wait for this info was a long time coming, and this was only the beginning.

Part 1/tbd ……..

Mar27

Moonlight Run 2025

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Moonlight Run. I have written so many recaps of this race over the years. It is a Lethbridge staple in the running community. I am sure I have also referred to it as the “kick-off” to the running season. 8:00 pm start for the 10km…8:15 pm start for the 6km. Over 2000 runners. Twilight start, and moonlit ending. This race had everything. There has been years it’s been windy, raining, snowing, ice-skating terrain, mud….but this year was something special.

Photo captured by oncourse photographer, Blair Takahasi. Coming around the last corner by CASA…my 1st race as a 40 year old, so the speed limit sign is fitting.

Our whole family was registered for Moonlight Run, and as the race day got closer, Andy just wouldn’t stop talking about it. He was very excited about it this year, as last year was his first time doing the 6km. But, it was in a full-blown blizzard! He ran in snow boots and snow pants! And the time was a chiptime of 58:13. Even after the terrible weather last year, he was ready for this year. We went as a family to pickup our race bibs and shirts on Friday night, and Andy was excited to put his shirt on at home that evening. But we would have a long while until the race began the next evening.

Excited we could get a kids shirt that fit him!
Family bibs ready to go!

The interesting thing with race day for Moonlight Run is that you have the WHOLE DAY before the actual event. No early wake up, no needing to think really about your breakfast intake….you go about the day almost as normal, but don’t want to be doing too much in preparation for the race. Even a nap midday is helpful, and then having to plan an earlier dinner, but not too-heavy of a dinner, before the race.

And the nerves. They build. With it being the start of race season, I put a lot of pressure on myself when I race the 10km, as this sort of sets the tone for the season. Yes, it’s ‘just a local race,’ but for me (and probably many more of our friends) it is much more.

Andy was so excited about the race that he drove us bonkers all day long. He was acting silly, asking tons of questions, telling us the same thing over and over again about Moonlight Run, reminding us about running in snow pants last year…we were going to walk over to the race start, since our house is located very close to downtown, an we ended up just leaving the house earlier than planned since it seemed the anticipation was driving this kid nutso.

Before the race!
Andy giving us a smirk as they get setup for the race

It is always very busy at the start area and lots of stuff going on to see. They had drummers and other performers, people congregating and meeting up with friends, announcements about race procedures. I ended up leaving Dan and Andy with our friends so I could do a quick warmup. I ended up stripping down my layers to put away in our backpack (which Dan would check eventually) along with my phone, and got into the start corral. After some announcements, pep talk, a draw for a free pair of shoes, and Oh Canada…we were ready to start!

My race plan all along was to start out hard and try to hold on best I could. I really wanted to just go ‘all out’ and challenge myself to achieve a 10km race time that I used to achieve. I also was ok with knowing that perhaps my legs would give out before heading back up Wendy’s hill. So I went out with nothing to lose. First mile I knew I would be going fast…and it’s downhill. I ended up clocking a 6:22 minute mile for the first one. OK…lets see how long I can hang on to something. My second mile was 6:55. Still a sub 7 minute, so that was something. I then set my mind on getting a great 5km time. We were now on flat ground and heading north in Indian Battle Park. We were starting to get more spaced out, so I just kept my focus on individuals close to me to try to catch up to people and not let them get too far away. By mile 3, I was at a 7:13. I was slowing, but I knew that would happen. I just couldn’t let that discourage me. My legs, particularly my quads, were sore (from the fast downhill pounding to the river valley) and I was starting to notice my empty stomach. I needed this to be done sooner rather than later so I could get some food, so my focus now went to just getting the thing done.

I was able to make some ground on people in front of me, even as we all got more spread out. I clocked a 7:18 for mile 4. I knew then at that point I had about one more mile of flat, then would have the rest of it uphill out of the river bottom. I was feeling strong, but I did slow more, but I felt powerful as I was able to make ground on people around me. I was at a 7:30 mile when I got to the biggest challenge of Moonlight Run-Wendy’s Hill.

Why is it called Wendy’s Hill? Well, there is a Wendy’s at the top of the climb out of the river valley! It is about a 1 km ascent from the river bottom to the top of this hill, and then still a slight incline all the way to the finish. At this point in the race, the 10km runners are also joining up with 6km runners who are on the same return (they just never headed out north like we did). This hill is well lit and the incline is fairly constant, so even though it is long, it doesn’t change drastically. I was able to stay strong as we climbed up and I kept focusing on my goal of hitting a sub 46 minute time. I knew I would be close, and not quitting on myself would be important.

I climbed out of that river valley and could hear the one pipe band playing near 7th st. I could see the crowds starting to build near CASA and the finish line. I was almost there. The time for mile 6 was a 8:47, which seems like such a drop compared to the other miles, but I know that incline out at the end is HARD. And I knew at this point I couldn’t slow down. Lots of people around me were trying to kick in for their last stretch, much like me in that photo at the top. I felt like I could sense someone gaining on me….no clue who it was…they could have been a 6km runner, 10km runner, older/younger….I didn’t care. I didn’t want anyone passing me in the final 100 m. I ran the last approximately quarter mile in around a 6:42 pace. I crossed the finish line in a chip time of 45:28, well surpassing my goal!

I may had finished my race, but I wasn’t done yet. I now quickly made my way to the bag drop to claim our backpack. I got out my phone and checked on the Garmin Live Tracker where Andy and Dan were. They were coming up Wendy’s Hill and were over half way done. I went down the course a bit so I could hopefully catch them coming in to the final stretch. The livetracker was so helpful as I refreshed it every 30 seconds or so to see their blue dot come closer and closer. With the darkness in the sky and the street lights and crowds, it was hard to sometimes pick people out. And lots of people were coming in now. I saw them coming and I just started taking picture after picture and yelling for them. They were doing awesome! Dan and Andy finished strong and Andy had an extremely strong finish time of 41:10….remember his time last year? 58 minute and change! What an improvement! Dan said Andy was AWESOME the whole race…it was very crowded and he listened so well and never walked or complained. Next year he is going to go for under 40 minutes!

Matching strides!
All smiles!

This night went as well as we could have hoped for and exceeded our expectations. We got our slices of pizza after finish, bundled up and walked home. Andy got thrown in the shower immediately and emerged in his bathrobe and finisher medal. He went to bed then dad and I had snacks, beer and watched a movie. My body felt like shit the next morning, but it was a good shit. I earned it. And I was happy.

Here’s to the 2025 running season! And to showing myself that being 40 years old doesn’t mean anything! If anything, it makes me stronger than ever before!

Dec30

2024 Recap &2025 Sneak Peak

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Running, Disney & Dad….That’s what the title of this is, right? So I’m going to do a short recap of 2024 and a look ahead at 2025 for each of those things!

2024

Running

If you’d like to read my recaps on the races that occurred this year, that was one thing that I actually posted about! This year I had some minor goals for myself that I wrote on a high-quality post it note. Some achievable time and health goals, meant to help me get back on track. I did my own training and planning this year, and I really just wanted to build consistency and get back to where I once was.

Disneyland half marathon weekend, Moonlight Run as a family in the snow, numerous 5km runs with Andy…they were great! Red Deer Half in May holds a special place, as I achieved a time goal I set and somehow won the whole thing (despite having ran faster half marathons in the past). This was a great confidence boost.

Disneyland, Jan 2024
Park Run
It’s not always running…family biking is great cross training!
Age group award at a very Wisconsin 5km!
Great form Andy!
Red Deer Half finish, May 2024

In the last 1.5 years, I have lost over 20 pounds. I attribute this to diet and lifestyle changes. Cutting back on alcohol intake definitely made a huge impact. I also know that getting off an antidepressant had to have some effect on me too. I am also now off my blood pressure medication, so the only things I take daily are vitamins. I now just need to cut out tortilla chips and maybe then I’ll be in perfect health…wait….don’t be crazy Lammers….Being lighter has helped me start to push myself more again on the road and trails and it feels great.

Disney

I mentioned above I was in Disneyland for the half marathon at the start of the year. This was great because later in the year, my bff Ali actually moved from Southern California away from Disneyland. She is now in Florida and lives right outside Walt Disney World (so convenient!)

In August, Andy and I flew down to Disney World for a trip with Grandma. Since Ali now lives there, she spent time with us too! It was a hot and busy trip, but fun had by all!

France Pavillion…Remy ride and lunch was a hit!
EPCOT with the bestie
Tiana’s Bayou was fantastic!
Andy is becoming a little daredevil!

Dad

June 8th, 2024, was the date Quebec opened up submissions for family history research. Well, let me explain….they have been under lock and key for some time in various capacities about what those who were adopted can find out. But their Bill 2 was set in stone that day, and how that benefits me is that as the child of someone who was adopted….I can now request information regarding my dad’s birth parents. I filled out and submitted all the paperwork promptly that first day I was allowed. I have received confirmation of the receipt of the submission.

So now…I just wait.

It has been 6 months. And now news yet. I know they probably were swamped with submissions. And who knows how many people are tasked to finding the information for those requesting it. And how long each submission takes. I last emailed in the summer (probably unnecessary, but whatever) to make sure everything was still in process. Sure is…now I just need to wait.

2025

Running

I’m going to run in to the new year with the great base I built and I have even bigger plans! In April, I will be heading to Europe to run in the London Marathon! This will be my 5th Abbott World Major, and I am beyond excited. The way Easter falls this year makes it possible for me to participate, due to Easter Break. Dan will stay back with Andy, but I won’t be alone…Ali is going to come along with me and cheer me on! We will be celebrating our 40th birthdays together.

I am also registered for Lost Soul Ultra 50km in September. I am making it a goal to try to beat my 2019 time of 6 hours and 48 minutes. The race is slightly a different route now than it was in 2019, and back then it was closer to 54 km…now around 51km.

Other smaller races will occur during the year too….Going back to Red Deer for the half and other family 5km races. The main goal this year is to stay healthy and strong as I train for everything. I hired my friend Tracey to be my coach, and my training plan for London officially starts on New Years Day. Maybe I will write more about how the training is going…I will try to, that’s for sure!

Disney

No Disney trip planned with Grandma this year, however, I forgot to add above that while in Europe for London Marathon, Ali and I will first be flying in to Paris to go to….Disneyland Paris! I will definitely post photos from that trip and a recap of our two days there. We have hotel reservations at Disney Hotel Cheyenne and two dining options booked…Captain Jack’s and Walt’s an American Restaurant. Neither of us have been to a Disney park overseas, so this will be an exciting adventure!

Dad

…Now, I just wait. I hope, hope, hope I get some answers and closure on this long search for my dad’s birth family. I have myself prepared to not find out much. And that the information given doesn’t get me anywhere…people have passed away, people don’t want to talk, etc. But to get a confirmation on a name, even if only his mom….my grandma…would be amazing.

2025 has so much ahead…and I simply cannot wait!

Lethbridge Coulees, Fall 2024
May30

Rita’s Run 5km

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Rita’s Run 5km

Saturday, May 25th, marked the Rita’s Run 5km and 10km to benefit mental health. This race is put on by Kinetic Cycle & Fitness-this is where I go for my cross-training workouts! It is a fantastic spin, row and weight studio and I highly recommend going here for a great workout.

The day was BEAUTIFUL and couldn’t have asked for better weather! Blue skies, no wind, gorgeous colours all around in the river bottom. The race was located down at the Elks Compound in Indian Battle Park and the start and finish would be in the same vicinity. The 10km started at 9:00 am and the 5km at 9:15 am. I am grateful that Dan drove Andy and I down and dropped us off near the starting area, as we just had a short walk to the start. The parking in the river bottom area is very scattered and limited, and it was very packed with this event. We had more than enough time to get to start area and Dan meet us there before the 5km began.

Andy was excited for this race becuase it was a ‘real race,’ meaning he had a race bib and timing. We have always been stressing to Andy that when we do 5km events he just has to try his best and he can’t always expect a personal best time each race. With the temperature outside that morning along with his spirit, I knew a personal best time was possible.

When we run 5km races together, I am his pace bunny. He knows he shouldn’t go faster than mom because he may get too tired. He did a great job doing this that day! What he didn’t do, however, was stop talking! The amount of energy Andy uses trying to ask me questions during a race is so funny. But I know he was having fun.

Another fun thing about the race was that since it was local, there were lots of people running and spectating the race that we knew. Andy likes it when people cheer him on and recognize him. He also saw some classmates from school doing the race too. Whenever we have a race that has an out-and-back component it is really motivating for him becuase a lot of runners will cheer him on as he is heading back. Seeing a 6-year-old’s legs move as quick as his is shocking, so I think he throws a lot of people off when they see him.

Pure joy !
Racing with mom

His miles splits were so consistent: 9:54, 9:58 and 10:05. I did tell Andy when we hit every kilometre along with every mile….he sort of understands the difference (miles are where Grandma lives, kilometres are here). So if anything he now knows that 5km is 3.11 miles! Anyhow, telling him where we are at and how much is left to go really keeps this kid moving. As we came into the finish, dad was there with some friends cheering us on. He got a really good video of us coming in and finishing, along with some commentary encouraging that Andy “takes me” at the finish. And what did we have, but another personal best. Time of 30:37, placing 3/17 in the 10 & under male and 78/355 overall! We are so proud of Andy and fully expect him to crack 30 minutes sometime this year, whether it be at Park Run or a registered 5km race. Time to get this kid some new running shoes!

May29

Red Deer Half Marathon

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Red Deer Half Marathon

Oh Red Deer. Every May Long, this race comes up and most years, we sign up. Dan’s family lives in Red Deer so it is a relatively “easy” event, in that we can head up on a holiday long weekend and have someplace to stay. I have only ever ran in the half marathon at Red Deer, but they do offer a 10km and full marathon distance (Dan did the full for his first full marathon!) They also have the kids run, which is approximately 1 kilometer. I have had some good results and poor results from this race in the past. My goal this year was to do better than last year, and I figured that could be somewhat easily attainable due to lots of changes. But you never know what to expect race day. And what happened on race day this year, I did not expect.

Last year, they had to cancel the full marathon distance due to forest fire smoke. This year, weather played in our favour. It was cool at the start, overcast, and no wind. The race starts and finishes near Lindsay Thurber High School and follows some great trails in the Red Deer trail system. You head to Kerry Wood Nature Centre, along the river, Heritage Ranch, Bower Ponds….sure, these mean nothing to someone who doesn’t know Red Deer. But really it’s a good highlight real of the nature and surrounding area.

Race start was at 8:15 am (10KM started at 8:00 am). My plan for this race was simple-go out harder than was smart and just try to hold on as long as possible. No, seriously. It was. Would I recommend this to everyone? No. Would I do this all the time? No. But, with the training and progress I have been making along with it being so long since feeling somewhat confident in going into a race, I figured I shouldn’t hold back or approach it gently.

Starting out, the main thing to note at this race is I started strong, with my first mile clocking in at 7:22. Now, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold on to that pace the whole way, but I settled in and felt comfortable and confident. At mile 2, there is a turnaround near the nature centre. At this point, I could clearly see which female runners were ahead of me. There were 3. And they all had marathon bibs.

Ok—I was in first place for the half. This won’t last longer than 6 km into the race….for sure…..

Well. Spoiler. It lasted past 6km. And past 10 km. Past 15km. Somehow, I held on. My slowest miles were at mile 6 (which was definitely the uphill from the river trail to then head towards Heritage Ranch) and then mile 10 (which had another small climb and that is just a tough spot for me at any half).

So yeah, this is the shortest race recap ever because nothing with my positioning in the race changed amongst the other female runners during the whole race. I stayed in the same position I was since the start and managed to win the Red Deer Half Marathon. As I was coming into the finish, I started crying under my sunglasses. This was insane and unexpected. I have ran faster Red Deer Half Marathons before in the past and never even placed top 3. Everything aligned in regards to who wasn’t there….but more importantly, who did show up: ME. My final time was 1:44.37. Welcome back Lammers, welcome back!

Dan finished his half and then we were able to watch and cheer Andy on during his kids race. Andy did really well! It was a shorter race than he was used to, and immediately he wanted to know his time (my next blog post will touch a bit more on his times!) but this was not a chip-timed event for kids. He was happy to receive his finisher medal and some snacks from the tent. We headed back to nana and gramps’ house to shower and clean up. Then, Dan and I had to make it back for the awards ceremony.

There was some live music in the school gym before the ceremony and actually a decent number of people turned up for awards. They demolished the pronunciation of my name, but that is always funny to say the least. I was surprised to get not only a medal for overall winner, but for my age group. Usually they don’t double dip. Along with an additional medal, I received not one, but TWO gorgeous tiles form a local artisan (one for overall and one for my age group) and a $300 cheque! This is the largest cheque I’ve ever received at a race! Again, my mind always keeps looking at this in disbelief because I have ran faster in the past. But, every race is different. This was unexpected but icing on the cake.

That $300 immediately was deposited and put towards my London Marathon down payment I have already made with the tour provider. After awards, we had a great family dinner and an easy-going night. My body also didn’t feel too awful in the days that followed. While I don’t have any upcoming road races this year, it is not going to be trail season. My plan is to keep building on my mileage into this summer and fall so that when that London Marathon training plan starts, I have an excellent base….and a lot of motivation to see what else I can push my body to do!

Apr29

Coaldale Family Fun Run Recap

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Andy and I ran a race together a few weekends ago, and I thought I would share a bit about the race and how proud we are of him! The race is the Coaldale Fun Run 5km, and I signed us up to do this race together. While Andy has done 5km races before with us, most recently on New Years Eve while wearing a winter jacket and all the gear, he hasn’t really tried ‘racing’ one. I will definitely say that this was his first real test as a RACE!

Coaldale is about a 20 minute drive from our house. Realistically, we probably could have just done packet pickup the morning of, but I didn’t want us to be rushing or worry if we were late. Andy was also very excited to see his race number the night before. We talked the night before about how this would have a whole lot more people than at the previous week’s Park Run (free 5km held every week worldwide; ours is held at Henderson Lake) and that there would be a lot more kids at this run. This has grown to quite the large-scale local event for Coaldale, which is great they have it.

At home before the race!

I appreciated that it was a 10 am start, as we didn’t need any early alarms for Saturday morning. We got out to Coaldale, parked, and had a short walk to the school where the race was being held. As we waited to get started, I told Andy he didn’t have to hold my hand the whole way but that he would want to at the start when it was very crowded. Starting promptly at 10 am, we were off!

Start line smiles!

The race starts and finishes at Coaldale Christian School. It is mainly ran on the rural roads on the outskirts of town, so there is a lot of gravel and rocks. Andy held my hand for at least the first half a mile and it was at that point that I figured he could just run next to me without getting trampled over. He is still learning how to be aware of those around him (and doesn’t always look behind himself when he moves over) but he did pretty well this whole race. His first mile was quick at 10:26; this was a bit faster than his first mile at Park Run the prior week. Unlike at Park Run, he kept pace in mile 2 and 3! When we got to the halfway point there was a water station but he didn’t want to stop since “I got a cramp at Moonlight Run when I had water!” So we kept going. Mile 2 was 11:13; slower, but still going strong. Amazingly, this little dude had more stamina in him because for the final mile he actually sped back up and got to passing some people. He finished mile 3 in 10:36, and he crossed the finish line at 33:27!

Finisher!
Gold medal for Andy!

We had to wait a little bit for the live results to load, but were excited to confirm that Andy placed first in the 6 and under boys! This race is unique as they have smaller age groups, so he was able to be with kindergarten aged kids and younger. We unfortunately couldn’t stick around for the official award ceremony (due to having swim lessons back in town at 11:30) but we received Andy’s gold medal later the next week.

Gold for our boy!

We have no clue if Andy is going to always love running, but for now he really enjoys running 5km races with us….he’s been brought up coming to mostly my events, and now he gets to have his own race numbers and earn medals in the process. We are so proud of our little man and can’t wait to see how his races go in the future!

Running the rural roads of Sothern Alberta
Apr3

Running, Dad & Disney….Isn’t that what this is all about?

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I can’t promise I will start regularly posting, but I know I am good for at least one yearly post.  So here it is.  In reverse order. 

Disney

Well, of course Disney is still a huge part in my day to day life.  Yes—day to day.  I feel like I am always thinking or daydreaming about it.  It really is my ‘happy place.’  Last August, Andy and I went on a mommy & son trip to Disney with my dear friend Maureen and her son.  It was such a great trip and we made so many memories.  The memory I want to forget is catching COVID for the first time while there and us having to truck through the trip with that going on.  WOW-that took a lot out on my body.  Andy had one night where he broke his fever and was a bit of a mess, but he trucked on.  My positive test when we came back confirmed how shitty I felt, and it honestly threw off my running for about a month then.  At least I didn’t have any big events planned!

Disney 100!
Cheese & Castles
Grandpa Andy’s favorite character

We are doing another mommy & son trip to Disney this August, with hopefully no COVID, and with Grandma.  I am really excited to see what rides Andy is most interested in doing and all the memories we can make.  Dan and I have been working with Andy a lot lately preparing him for swimming pools, because he is not keen on his swim lessons.  We have him in private swim lessons starting a few weeks from now, so hopefully that helps.  I made a fake ‘threat’ that Grandma wouldn’t book us at the nice hotel anymore if he didn’t start to want to learn to swim….hopefully that’s lit a fire!

Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party…in hot August

Dad

This month marks the 20th anniversary of when my dad passed away.  I turn 40 this year.  That’s a lot to take in.  I have worked really hard in the recent years to deal with the grief that still was lingering and I feel like I am in a pretty good place.  There hasn’t been anything new with the family history/DNA/ancestry area.  My one close contact hasn’t talked to me in about two years, and it was sort of left that there may be some family resentment/conflict due to the potential unknowns/family skeletons.  I decided to send one more message earlier this week to just touch base and say hi…you never know what things could have changed?

There is also a date I am awaiting, and that is June 8th.  This day is the day after what would have been my dad’s 72nd birthday, but it is also a day that Quebec puts forth Bill 2 into action.   I will put a snippet below from the Province of Quebec website regarding what Bill 2 entails:

This act amends the Civil Code in respect of filiation, the law of persons and civil status. In particular, it amends the rules concerning the knowledge of one’s origins in relation to adoption so as to broaden their scope. Thus, this act allows the adoptee greater access to information about the identity of the parent of origin by eliminating almost all possibilities that a refusal to disclose would hinder it. It also gives the adoptee the right to obtain, under certain conditions, a copy of their original birth certificate and the judgments relating to their adoption, as well as the names of their grandparents and brothers and sisters of origin, and, if they consent to it, the information allowing them to contact them.

It extends services to new categories of applicants, such as the original grandparents of an adopted person and the first-degree descendants of a deceased adopted person. The latter will be able to obtain the same information and documents as the adopted person.

Lastly, it enshrines a person’s right to know their origins in the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. These measures will come into force on June 8, 2024. Until then, the current provisions on knowledge of one’s origins continue to apply.

Honestly.  That statement in bold…that is me.  And this gives me so much hope.  I read this outloud to Dan just now as I typed it and he paused….and said “I am cautiously optimistic for you!”  Hopefully, 2024 can be the year we find the real answers.

Running

This is a year, other than the pandemic, that I have no real big races planned.  And I can say that I am at a place in my life that I am ok with that!  I started the year off with a quick trip to Los Angeles where I was able to take part in the Disneyland Half Marathon weekend with my bff.  It had been since 2017 that Disneyland had races (due to conflicts with the city of Anaheim and then the pandemic, etc) so it was great to be back there in that atmosphere!

Cheese & Castles (mom’s turn)

A few weeks ago, we did the Moonlight Run 6km as a family-this was Andy’s first 6km distance.  Even in the late-winter snow, he did fantastic.  We finished just under one hour, and that was even with him in snow boots.  My race focus this year should have been more explicitly stated-it is to run 5km races with Andy!  Up next….Coaldale Family Fun Run.  He’ll also have the Red Deer Kids race during marathon weekend, Little Souls, and I also plan to get him signed up for a kid’s race in Wisconsin.

Moonlight Run

Andy and I head to Wisconsin in July, and I will be doing the Dances with Dirt Half Marathon Trail Race in Devils Lake.  I am looking forward to my first trail race outside of Western Canada!  I am not looking forward to the humidity!  I will also sign up for one of the local beer garden 5km events that coincidentally have a kids event too. 

Dan and I are signed up for the return of Lone Wolf in September, and Coulee Cactus Crawl in Lethbridge will be our warmup trail race together.  Still trying to think of a good team name, otherwise our Lone Wolf original of “Lammers & the Dilf” will still hold on.

One big thing to mention that ties directly in with where I am at with my running is to talk about where I am with my health.  Without going into too much, I will say that I am in a much better place than I was one year ago.  I have lost close to 20 pounds.  My body is not hurting.  With the guidance of a doctor, I weaned off my antidepressants that I had been on for close to 12 years (but I think were doing more harm than good the last while).  I have now been off them for 7 months.  I took time off alcohol.  Between the being off the antidepressant and pausing on boozing, I weaned off my blood pressure medication.  I tracked my blood pressure off the pills for about 2 months in November and December (some time while drinking, some while not) and it has now been stable since January.   And I am not on that pill either.  I am actually now on no prescription medication—just a daily multivitamin and collagen because I’m old hahaha. And, I had my yearly echo and my heart function has improved since the last one.  And super minor, but I am not consuming even CLOSE to the amount of caffeine as I was previously….living on the half caf/decaf life.  The meaningful changes I started making a year ago really have made a difference-the tests don’t lie.  I am not going back to where I was before. 

Took this photo a few days ago. Now it’s pounding snow.

A week ago, this blog entered my mind during a workout.  And I reflected on how great I felt when I was actively posting about my running and training.  It was therapeutic.  I know it will take some extra effort to make posting happen, but with the upcoming Disney, Dad and Running events on the horizon, sharing the good news could do some good. They will be shorter than this, more often than not, and not very well proof-read. But I know this helps.

Until then….