Tag Archives: Family History

Apr25

Bienvenue.

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Bienvenue.

The time has finally come for us to visit Quebec and meet Fernand, his daughter Mel, and just ultimately get to that culmination of all these years of work and piecing together the mystery of my dad’s biological family. This past fall, I pulled the trigger and booked the airline tickets for us to fly out east. I planned it differently, though-we would fly into Toronto, rent a car, drive to Quebec City and stay for a bit just the three of us (Dan, myself and Andy) and then go to meet Fernand and Mel. We’d then finish the trip in Toronto for a few nights.

To say I was anxious the weeks leading up to the trip would be the understatement of the year. I was wired. I was worked up. My blood pressure was honestly through the roof (and I know this for a fact because I stupidly had my blood pressure monitor testing done a week before the trip and I know the results are wild). I mean, lets summarize this all (especially if this is the first time you’ve happened upon my page)

My dad was born in 1952 in Quebec City and was given up at an orphanage, La Creche St Vincent De Paul. Two years later, he was adopted by an American couple. He was fortunate to have a life full of some pretty incredible opportunities and experiences. He met my mom, married, they had me. He never wanted to find out about his birth family (or so he always told us) and it became apparent later that into the 2000s it would have been tricky to do so anyway due to adoption laws in Quebec. My dad died unexpectantly in 2004, at age 51. I was 19. I kept always wondering about his story. Where he came from. What my background was from him. I dabbled in attempting online searching. I wasn’t able to get anything from the province of Quebec right away, since I wasn’t the adoptee. Husband and I went to Quebec in 2014 where I was able to see a museum with insight on my dad’s orphanage experience, along with the site of the orphanage. I did two different online DNA testing kits, and also had my mother do one so it could split the paternal/maternal matches. I matched eventually with a gentleman named Fernand, on 23 and Me. We started messaging during the pandemic-knowing we were related as “1st cousin 1x removed” and from my father’s side; but how? Could not pin point where my dad was connected. In 2024, Quebec changed the laws the allow other generations of the adopted individual to gain access to their birth mother and possibly, birth father’s, name. I sent in my application on the date they opened in June 2024. I was put in a queue. I was eventually contacted early Spring of 2025. I had a few Zoom call interviews with workers in Montreal and eventually was given the names of my dad’s birth parents-Clothilde Lemay and Maurice Cusson. Maurice would turn out to be Fernand’s uncle.

This whole thing is ultimately wild. I don’t know how much this post tonight will make sense, as I am having myself finish writing it on what is actually the 22nd anniversary of my dad’s premature passing. But I want to get this out there and preserved and to continue reflecting on it all.

So we flew to Toronto to begin our spring break adventure. Driving away from the craziness of Toronto (14 lanes of traffic across!) and making it to Gananoque, Ontario, for the night was step one. I chose Gananoque for a reason, actually, as our first stop. I had been there in 1994 with my parents and best friend, Ali, as we visited my Grandpa Lammers and his second wife, Jean. Jean had a cabin in the 1000 Islands area from when she was married to her first husband. Grandpa Lammers and Grandma Jean got together after both their spouses passed. Their story is a soap opera in itself, and not for this post…but I had been here before and wanted to have a short stop over again. Nostalgia.

The next day, we headed to Quebec City. Took a perfect roadside gas station picture as we crossed the border and just like that…. everything was in French. On the way, we found a Cabane a sucre for lunch. This was an amazing experience! Everything was doused in maple syrup, and we learned about the process of tapping the maple trees to get the maple water used for making authentic maple syrup.

We stayed at the Hilton right across from the legislature building for 2 nights. We spoiled ourselves while there by staying on the Executive Level, where we had lounge access and a great view of Quebec City. We strolled Old Quebec, found attractions for Andy to enjoy, took in the heated outdoor pool, and had a fabulous dinner at Le Hobbit. During the visit to Quebec City, we also found our way back to the site of my dad’s orphanage. This is now a collection of many medical offices and other commercial spaces. It was Good Friday on the day we went, so the public buildings were closed. But we walked around the grounds and found the memorial for the babies born at the hospital and the Sisters of Good Shepard who took care of them back when it was La Creche St Vincent de Paul.

On the day we headed to meet Fernand, I didn’t know what to expect. Dan drove. I sat. And just thought that “I can’t believe this is happening.” I was also thinking crazy things…worried we would drive up to his supposed address in St. Liboire, ring the doorbell, and no one would answer. Ghosted.

We approached the small town of St. Liboire. After stopping at a roadside cheese store first, naturally. This was it. We rang the doorbell. I held my breath. And then, Fernand and Mel (along with their doggos) opened the door and welcomed us with hugs. I teared up hugging Mel-these people are real people. They are my family. HOLY SHIT.

We stayed with Fernand and Mel for two nights. He and Mel were fantastic hosts. Fernand is in his mid 80s. Mel is close to our age and lives in Montreal. She sees her dad close to every other weekend (it’s about 1-1.5 hours away). And what amazing people they are. He was such an incredible host in his house for these two nights and made our family feel so welcomed. He prepared so much in terms of food and experience. He was our tour guide (as Mel was the chauffer!) to show us Cusson family history that surrounded him. We saw old houses, cemeteries, land. He told us stories. He showed up family trees. We shared pictures.

One extremely special thing we witnessed was when Fernand took Andy on a little hike through the forest that backs onto his house. I cannot explain how it felt to see this happen. How absolutely wild it all was.

I know maybe the readers of this post would expect me to talk more about the stay. But it is hard to put into words. What I Can say is this—Fernand & Mel are family. And I felt a connection to them immediately. Mel and I joked that not only was I worried they would ghost us, but she also stated she worried slightly that we maybe were scammers! Meeting everyone in person put those crazy uncertainties to rest. And I can say with certainty that this will not be the only time I see them.

I was born and raised in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin, area…yet I am 1/4 Quebecois. And I now have the family connection to that part of my life story. It does feel weird to now know all of this, without my dad ever knowing it. But I am beyond proud and happy with the result of all the hard work I have done to confirm these facts. There is still more to learn, and anything Fernand is willing to share with us I am beyond appreciative of. I now know my link to the Cusson family. It is just even more crazy to see myself here-a Canadian who finally confirmed all her roots and history deeply entrenched in Quebec.

Bienvenue…Bienvenue…Je me souviens…

In memory of Andrew Anthony Lammers/Joseph Luc Parent/ son of Maurice Cusson & Clothilde Lemay

June 7th, 1952-April 25th, 2004

Dec1

The Third Act

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I am writing this post now close to 6 months after I found out the information. I last wrote about how I found information regarding my dad’s birth mother. And how I am a bit at a standstill finding out more regarding her, as she doesn’t appear to have had any more children other than my dad. And the information I can piece together about a marriage is very limited.

When I spoke with Fanny, who I mentioned was my original counsellor from Quebec, one of the first things she commented on my dad’s file was that it was not common to have both the birth mother and birth father’s names. Now, they couldn’t guarantee with 100% certainty that the birth father name was correct, as they were going on the word of Clothilde when she dropped my dad off at the orphanage. But the likelihood of her making up who the birth father was would be slim.

Let’s just cut to the chase. I have a name. My dad’s birth father is Maurice Cusson.

Want to know the crazy part? I immediately knew who would know who this was. And that person is Fernand.

I wrote about Fernand a bit, starting in 2020. The link to this post is here, and at that time I just assumed that my 23 and Me connection meant that we could somehow figure out the birth mother. He exchanged emails with me during the pandemic and we tried to pin down which aunt of his could possibly have had a child out of wedlock. We got to a point where we MAYBE thought we had who it was, but this person was already deceased and her surviving children did not want to talk to Fernand. Fernand was always very kind and really seemed invested in helping me out. Our conversations and emails lessened in the past 2 years or so, but I did every once and a while check in with him.

When I knew I was getting information directly from Quebec, I emailed him and let him know. I was honestly surprised to keep hearing from him—not sure if he would have gotten sick of me, maybe he was now older and not in the right health to talk…but he acknowledged he wanted to know what I find out.

So, when I got that name….Maurice Cusson….Cusson. That was the last name of Fernand’s grandfather. I knew this from our conversations and seeing things on Ancestry.com. So we were on the right track. So I had to immediately email Fernand and I sent him that name to find out the connection. His response:

Maurice Cusson was my uncle, my mother (Florence) brother! He was a « sailor »,  I believe I mentioned it, électricien, on a summer cruise ship, river cruise. He and his wife lived in Sorel, Que. Maurice was very nice person.  I will dig up pictures and some anecdotes. We are cousin!

So, that means….this man, who is still alive and well in Quebec….named Fernand….is my dad’s first cousin. A cousin of my dad’s is alive and well. HOLY SHIT.

Fernand has sent me numerous photos of Maurice that he has dug up. His older brother, Roger, has also helped with the genealogy quest and is involved with sending me anecdotes. For so many years, I knew so little. Now, my world has opened up.

The main thing worth noting is that Maurice & his wife never had children of their own. We have no idea if Maurice had any idea that he possibly fathered a child. The connection we have made with what Maurice did for a living (sailor) and what Clothilde did for a living (worked on a ship) makes it very clear this was either a one-night stand or affair of some kind. Maurice was born in 1913 and then passed away in 1987. Maurice had many brothers and sisters, along with nieces and nephews. But he didn’t appear to know about his son. When he fathered my dad, he would have been around 40 years old. And with his death being in the late 80s, there was no chance of us having access to the Quebec adoption records at that time. So really, even my dad had wanted to know, he probably could have never found out.

So now I know about Clothilde & Maurice. And I have a smattering of photos of Maurice. And the craziest part…I now have flights booked for myself, Dan and Andy to head to Quebec over Easter. We are meeting Fernand. I am meeting my dad’s cousin. Even typing that is wild and my eyes swell every time, no joke. I am meeting family that I have dreamt about for so long, not knowing if they would actually exist or that I could find them. Wow.

Sep18

Act II

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This post will be about my second phone call with Fanny, where I found out the name of the birth mother (along with some other tidbits). When Fanny set up for us to have this call in mid May, it came to my surprise to hear that she would be leaving her job position.

My first thought: fuck. I won’t get everything I need.

Yes, that was selfish. But I have been waiting for so long to find out this information, I was a bit scared that my case would get shuffled back into a long queue, not paid attention to the same way she did. We had our first call together before I went to the London Marathon and she gave me some rich background information. She wanted to have this call occur before she was leaving her job, so she could give me the birth mother information that she had confirmed.

Clothilde Lemay.

That is my grandmother’s name. Clothilde. Lemay.

Just like in the first call, she couldn’t release exact birth dates or death dates, locations, etc. And now that this call happened back in May, I don’t remember exactly what we spoke about. One interesting thing was brought up, thought-she hinted that maybe I could find something regarding Clothilde’s father, as there was a documentary put out by NFB (National film board) that included him. He was a musician. She couldn’t directly share his name, but she must had found it in her search and made sure I looked it up to put it all together. So I did. It’s a bit odd and interesting all at once. I have watched it and have all sorts of thoughts. (Here is the link too: https://www.nfb.ca/series/le-son-des-francais-damerique-english-version/season1/les-gens-du-plaisir-en/ )

Clothilde was an only child. She never had any other children other than my dad. It appears she may have gotten married again, but never had another child with her husband. In my Ancestry.com searches, there is no more paths from her name. Cannot find a grave. Cannot find a burial. What I have is below:

Died young. Close to my dad’s age. What I can piece together on ancestry is below. And if we put this all into perspective, she died before I was even born. So in a way, it is comforting knowing that I didn’t ‘just miss out’ on finding her. I wasn’t even here. My dad hadn’t even met my mom yet. Finding her wasn’t on my dad’s radar.

I have found no pictures of Clothilde online. No obituary. No photos shared on ancestry. She is a mystery. I do, as you saw above, have video of my great-grandfather though. Which is absolutely insane. And what I did four weeks ago is more insane: I decided to google up one of the directors of that documentary. His name is Andre’ Gladu. And according to the internet, he is still alive.

I found him on Facebook and sent him a message. He has not replied yet, or read it. So a few days ago I sent him a friend request. I have no clue if he will read it or acknowledge it. If someone wants to help a girl out and see if he’ll read this, work your magic:

So. I learned my grandmother’s name. Clothilde Lemay. My dad’s biological mom. This was always what I wanted to find out. I was met with so many emotions over those first days of finding out. I cried. I felt sad for her and her story. To have a son, to have to give him up….to get married but never have a second chance at her own family…dying young….it’s crazy. I was always on the search for my dad’s birth mom and I was worried that now, with now knowing the name and even now months later not knowing much about her at all…that this was all for nothing.

But trust me. It only gets better from here.

And that will be part of Act III.

Jul17

And just like that…

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This blog was started to honour my dad. And I have mentioned at times his history and background. In 2014, my husband and I travelled to Quebec City to be immersed in his origin story (find that here and here). And by doing my own DNA submissions through Ancestry and the now questionable 23andMe I have found many distant relative matches. Notably is the match I have with an 80-something fellow from Montreal area (wrote about that briefly here). He and his brother had a hunch on cracking the code of my dad’s birth parents, but we ran in to some dead ends and some family who had either passed or didn’t want to talk.

Then, came this: New Quebec Bill provisions The update, which came into place on June 8th, 2024, would now allow me as a first-degree descendent of an adoptee to submit a request for biological family information. I submitted my application with supporting documents the moment I was able to.

Then, I waited.

I emailed once or twice to confirm that YES I was in a queue and YES I would be contacted soon.

Then, on Monday, March 17th 2025, I received an email from a woman named Fanny, who had this in her email signature:

Conseillère en recherche des origines internationales et intergouvernementales

Direction de la recherche des origines et des retrouvailles

Secrétariat aux services internationaux à l’enfant

Ministère de la Santé et des Services Sociaux

201, boulevard Crémazie Est, bureau 1.01

Montréal (Québec)

Fanny would be working with me and assured me she would contact me as soon as she is able to begin work on my request. IT WAS HAPPENING.

Now that you’ve made it this far, I am going to make sure I say that I have a few posts planned regarding all of this I have been learning. And really, I am just beginning. But this first post is so that others who have submitted information, like myself, in regards to Bill 2 can see what they may expect to receive. Looking back now with what I have received, I know I am very lucky. But it also came with a lot of emotions. And if anyone reads this, finds this post, and wants to more in detail because they are in the same process/predicament….don’t hesitate to reach out.

Once Fanny was able to start working on my case, we set up a phone appointment to go over everything. Speaking to someone with a very strong French accent, with English not their first language, is definitely a challenge on the phone! We did later calls on Zoom, which was helpful to see her expressions. Fanny was lovely. We chatted for an hour and she explained the process-to summarize, as she works through my dad’s files, once she has accumulated enough base information (starting with birth mother) I would receive another email to set up another phone call/zoom call. She would then release the information to me on that call, and also email the information securely. After each step, we then discuss if we’d like her to find more (if the person is still alive, descendants potentially, birth father etc) until we finish. She won’t be able to give me every detail about the names she releases, but I may receive general birth years and background stuff (region where they lived, etc).

Fanny worked FAST. She knew I was going to Europe for Easter, so she was hopeful to get the first bit of information to me before hand. On April 16th, 2025, we spoke on Zoom. She was able to provide me with a summary of sociobiological antecedents. This “summary” was actually 8+ pages and pretty detailed. She spoke with my for close to an hour about all these details and I wrote down tons, but the summary pretty much had everything listed there in plain sight. My father’s birth name…Joseph Luc Parent. We always just thought it was Luc! The funny thing we always knew was the birthday discrepancy. The English version says June 7th and the French version at the orphanage and all the letters from the birth mom say June 8th. Full term, 7 pounds 8 ounces and born at St-Joseph Hospital, 750, rue Saint-Vallier Ouest, Québec city…which Fanny said is interesting because it is not the hospital that was attached to the orphanage. The mother’s name? Not given yet in this meeting. But, I found out she was 28 years old when she gave birth. Light brown hair “, brown” eyes, 5’5 1/2″ and 120 pounds. It also states her region of residence to be Chaudiere-Appalaches region and that she was single.

There is a section regarding the “physical, psychological and social development of the child.” There is quite a bit—stating about vaccinations received at orphanage in 1953, along with a physical exam in late April 1954 which noted “…lively, intelligent, in good health and a very attractive child” Then, later in May, another exam was done with a psychiatrist. I assume this was done in preparation for adoption, as he was placed with his adoptive parents on July 2nd, 1954. There are also snippets of case worker reports from when they visited my dad at his new home in 1955. The first “being a little overweight, your doctor prescribed you a protein diet….get along well with your brother although your mutual adjustment was slow at first.” And the last statement on November 11th, 1955, has the case worker “conclude that you have adjusted so well that you will lead a very secure and happy life.”

The flipside to all these lovely notes leading to adoption and checkups in his first year at his new home is that there was a section preclusive to this labelled “Placement History.” Fanny noted to me that all the detail in here was quite unique, as there is not always this much information in a file. There are dated entries regarding contact with my dad’s birth mom and presumably, the orphanage. Below is a screenshot (everything is referenced as if they are speaking to my dad).

When Fanny told me all this information, I just took it all in and it didn’t effect me one way or the other. I was just amazed I was hearing it all. But a few days later, emotions took over. I cried. A lot. I felt for this woman, my grandmother, and what she had to have been going through. And how difficult it must have been. What did her life turn out to be like? Did she end up having a family and kids and a husband?

The other piece of information I found out was that the birth mother did in fact name a birth father. This was apparently very uncommon, so I am very fortunate this was included. Fanny made sure to state that of course this information could be false, as the birth mother could be saying anything. But this was what was included for me to see at this first call:

Fanny described the man was listed as a sailor, and it then also appeared that the birth mother was a kitchen maid on the ship. It was presumed then that this man was married and had his own life off the ship. It was also noted in the file that the birth mother only told her own father about the pregnancy. Other thing about the birth mother… she was in fact, an only child. Just like me.

By the end of the call and then receiving the file, I knew more about my dad’s birth story than I could have possibly dreamed. But we weren’t finished yet. Fanny would next be looking into information regarding the birth mother (she already had the name, but needed to see about possible living family) and then eventually, the birth father. The wait for this info was a long time coming, and this was only the beginning.

Part 1/tbd ……..