Tag Archives: orphan

So close, yet so far…

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So that post I did a little bit ago, about all the information I was getting close to sharing? I’m kind of stuck.

See, this blog was originally started because I was going to talk about my running, my love for Disney world, and my dad. In 2013, I did a ton of races, raised money for American Heart Association & Heart and Stroke Foundation, and trained for RunDisney races like a boss. I did this all for the memory of my dad and it helped me focus on something positive surrounding the still tough-for-me grieving process.

I always hoped we could find information about my dad’s birth family, as he was adopted. For those who haven’t followed for a long time, my dad was adopted from an orphanage in Quebec City in 1954. He was born there in 1952.

I have done DNA tests with 23 and Me and Ancestry in hopes that someone close enough in relation would pop up. 4th, 5th, 6th cousins are galore. But that doesn’t really get you anywhere.

The first week in August, a woman with the closest connection yet to me on 23 and me from my father’s side showed up.On 23 and Me I know with certainty it’s from my dad’s side, as my mom has done the DNA testing and it can sort based on us connecting as mother/daughter on the page. I messaged this woman, and then shortly after her father had results on the page too. He was even a stronger match.

I have messaged him lots in the past month. He is around 80, lives near Montreal. The predicted relationship according to 23 and Me is that he is my 1st Cousins 1x Removed. The chart on 23 and Me shows that his grandparent would be my great grandparent. He and my dad have the same grandparents!

Not just relying on 23 and Me, this man’s brother does a lot of genealogy tracking for the family on his own. I gave my contact all the dates and information that would be helpful, and in talking with his brother, they narrowed down their ‘candidates’ of family members who may have been my dad’s birth mom.

They are pretty confident they know who is my dad’s mom. I have a first name. They have sent me a few photos of the woman. They have given me bits and pieces of her past which then make sense to the whole story….born in 1926, a ton of other siblings, she was still living at home in the late 40s/early 50s when all the others had moved away. They remember her saying in 1951 she was heading to the US for a nanny position….that’s when we assume she went to the orphanage as an out of wedlock woman to have my dad in secret.

She ended up getting married in 1955/56 and had a family of her own. But then she sort of removed herself from the rest of the family. My contact said her and her husband eventually separated, but her children are still alive….but he is not sure of what their relationship with their parents has been. She passed away at some point, though her death and reason for death isn’t really known.

I am so close. The potential mother of my dad, my grandma….her kids are still alive. My dad’s potential half siblings. My contact knows where her oldest son is right now, as he put it “alive and well” and in his 60s. But he hasn’t spoken to him in around 15-20 years. He is unsure about approaching him in regards to this situation. I have offered to pay for a 23 and Me test for this potential half brother of my dad. I need answers.

I have been trying to do some digging on Ancestry. I paid for a membership again. Canadian records don’t seem as readily available as US or world records. I am just searching on my own to try to close in on some things. I am not contacting anyone. I am hoping that my contact will decide a time to talk to the one son and we can connect that way.

I don’t want anything from the family other than to have a confirmed blood-line connection to someone who is related to my dad. The closest relationship possible. My dad lived a blessed life. IT was actually a pretty privilege childhood. He was very lucky to have been raised by my grandparents and have his brother Ed. And if this life hadn’t happened for him, he would have never met my mom, he would have never had me, I would have never met Dan, and we wouldn’t have Andy. Things obviously happen for a reason. But now, I want to unlock the past.

Quest in Quebec City, Part II

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The post below is a continuation from two days ago. It is my recap/reflection on the experiences I had while in Quebec City!

On Thursday, April 24th, we arrived at Musee Bon Pasteur. I was looking forward to this visit—the second floor was advertised to have an exhibit featuring the orphanage my dad was born at! When my husband and I walked through the doors, the receptionist did not know any English. Dan spoke with her to let her know I did not speak French; she then asked if we wanted an English-speaking guide. I am very appreciative that they had an English speaking guide in the facility, because visiting the museum would not have been the same without Sister Claudette’s guidance!

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Sister Claudette met us and gave us an overview of who the Sisters of Good Shepard are, and how they were formed. The story is quite incredible, and I encourage you to go to Musee Bon Pasteur and read about how this group of women found each other. She knew we were most interested in the items on the second floor, so after her 15 minute overview on the history on the first floor, we headed upstairs.

This is where everything came out. She first asked to see what information I had with me. After pulling out the envelope with the ominous “680 Chemin Ste Foy” address on it, she quickly told us why we were confused when we went their yesterday—-because it’s actually at 1210! The addresses had shifted over the years! She gave us a postcard with an old photo of La Crèche St Vincent de Paul so we could use it when we went back to find 1210 Chemin Ste Foy.

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We then looked at the handwritten letter together, and Sister Claudette then had a surprise for us. The sister who had signed the letter was a very prominent Sister at La Crèche, and there was a photo of her on that floor of the museum! Sister James Philip had signed that letter in 1954! Below is a picture of the letter next to her photo—these items are displayed on the original baptismal font that was used at the original St. Patricks! This font was used on my dad’s baptism on June 10th, 1952, three days after he was born (we know this because of the statement on his baptismal abstract which was produced in 1957; we can only assume, and Sister Claudette agreed, that this abstract was needed by my grandparents for when he went through his American Citizenship)

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Lots of other artifacts were on site for viewing in the museum. There are pictures, which reminded me of yearbook photos, of the doctors and sisters who were at La Crèche during certain time frames. There are also pictures of the children being looked after. Sister Claudette said these photos were taken in the 1950s

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Sister Claudette then explained to us more about the timeline of my dad’s adoption. He was born on June 7, 1952, and we knew from original paperwork that he was adopted and brought across into the US on July 4, 1954…this approximate two-year window is important. She explained to us that when a woman gave birth at La Crèche, the choice was to sign the child over for adoption right away, or wait a maximum of two years. In those two years if she felt fit to take care of the child on her own, or in some cases if she had then wed the father and came back, the child would be reunited.

My grandparents worked with the help of Catholic Charities in Illinois to set up an adoption. The Catholic Charities sent a letter in May 1954 that a boy had been selected for them. They drove up to La Crèche to meet my dad. I would love to know if photos of this occasion had existed somewhere in my grandparents hands, but they moved so much all over the world they may have been lost. One thing I should have assumed but was never certain was my dad’s birth name. We knew it was Luke, as written on the old envelope. But that was the English spelling. Sister Claudette confirmed that the name on the “Alien Registration” form that was used when moving to the US was his given name—Luc Parent. This was not chosen by the birth mother, though. We learned that the doctors and Sisters had a list of generic first names and last names they went through and gave to the children. So my dad was given Luc Parent!

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It was an amazing visit. Absolutely memorable. I will never forget it! We learned so much in that short time at the museum. Plus, there is still a chance to learn more. Later that day, Dan phoned a number given to us by Sister Claudette. It was for Centre Jeunesse-Centre for Adopted Youth. There’s an outside chance they will let me provide my dad’s information for the archives, in case anyone from his birth family has tried looking for him. This is something traditionally the adopted child must do, but we may as well try. Problem was, we called twice, and the person on the other line had horrific English, and Dan’s French was just as bad. An English speaking worker was supposed to call us back by yesterday but hasn’t. I will tackle this feat over the next few weeks.

And 1210 Chemin Ste Foy? Well, we went the following day. On April 25, 2014, we walked the two miles to La Crèche St Vincent de Paul. My dad had passed away exactly 10 years before on April 25, 2004. How did I feel?—rejuvenated.

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